Final Reflection

My identity as a leader for social justice has evolved from thinking about it as a solitary endeavor to one that is more collective. As an organizer I have always believed in collectivity but saw educational structures and bureaucracy as barriers to collectively mostly due to the hierarchy in position. However through this program I have been encouraged to think through socialcultural learning for both adults and children which means that there is no expert on everything on a school campus. It means that everyone at any point can be an apprentice and we can all learn from each other to make the school more equitable and address marginalization.

My identity has also changed in that I don’t see theoretical learnings as separate from practical operations. This means that theory, such as critical race theory, will inform the policies and practices I will uphold as a school leader.

I learned about the importance of qualitative data collection such as empathy interviews and how these stories are more important than the quantitative data that reduces our kids two numbers and percentages to be compared. Having been able to read Dr. Toldson‘s work (No BS Stats) and having had him as a guest speaker in class has pushed me to rethink what data I collect both as a teacher and as a school leader. I want to continue to grow by finding new ways to gather our students stories of their experiences in our school. These stories can inform the changes we make to the systems in place. As I collected data for my Fieldwork Project my team and I had to set norms that helped remind us that the numbers do not tell the whole story and that we will need to continue to collect data.

My perspective on leadership for equity, social justice, and anti-racism has changed on theoretical levels, practical levels, and how I understand it in a professional setting. Before this program, oftentimes, I felt that radical ideas such as sociocultural learning or communities of practice required informal learning spaces because schools were too constrained, however reading about political race, critical race theory, and communities of practice allowed me to see how school leaders were adapting these to formal educational settings. It made me feel inspired to figure out ways to change the way education is currently done. To find ways to have students learn in a way that doesn't further marginalize. I know that as a school leader I will always be looking for equity gaps and asking who is benefiting and who is not from every decision I make.

I think the best examples of social justice teaching were not the readings but watching my professors enact culturally responsive pedagogy as well as use their socio-cultural lens to facilitate our classes. It was amazing to see their facilitation as leaders and how they guided us through the learning while at the same time tending to our needs and showing us love when we needed it. I love how they collectively showed up for each other when another professor needed it. For example, when the Chauvin trial was happening, we made sure to pause and the professors were there to reflect with us if needed, they did not leave the professor who taught that class by herself. I now have a much more clearer understanding of culture of care and culturally responsive and sustaining pedagogies.

Through this distance learning/pandemic year it’s been tough maintaining relationships which I think are the foundation of socio-cultural learning in adults as well as children. Competing ideas around approaches to distance learning has caused tension in my staff and being on one side or another feels like you are part of one clique. Cohesion was necessary to get through the research and so community building was a necessary part of the work I did this year. Because of my ideas around productivity it was difficult for me to give so much time to check in s and things like that, but I saw how fruitful that was for our team.

As a school leader I also struggled through organization of my notes and my ideas. Sometimes I felt like I did not have everything ready to go, and preparations for meetings took longer than it should because I had to look for digital notes and notes from readings rather than having them in an organized place. At times I also felt that I needed to understand theory more or a certain pedagogy more in order to have conversations with my team but I felt like there was never enough time to get through all the readings. Another challenge was around knowing how fast paced to move the research. Several team members needed us to slow down several times which has made this project last all year and I struggled with knowing when to push my colleagues versus stop and allow time for reflection.

It was also my first time doing the PDSA cycle and I felt like I was learning as I was going. Doing fishbone diagrams and systems mapping with my team was nerve-racking because I was really not sure how it was going to go or come together.

Some of my successes included completing the research project and actually making changes to the course offerings at our school. Having a consistent project we worked on as a department which has given us a glimpse of what is possible as a department team. Building relationships with the Math department and the science county coordinator. I have was able to synthesize my thinking through all the papers and reflections which helps me with my speaking.

My next steps as a school leader is to continue mastering the art of teaching and using some of the new approaches I learned through the PLI program such as culturally relevant and sustaining teaching as well as socio-cultural approaches to learning.

I want to think through the ideas of democracy and how those are being enacted when I facilitate teaching and when I facilitate meetings as an instructional coach and environmental leader.

Eventually, I would like to become an assistant principal who helps guide curriculum and instruction at a school as well as create family programming. I would also like to do more research on community schools and see if it’s a tangible idea for my charter organization.

Practical skills I would like more experience with the are operational management of a school as well as dealing with interpersonal issues between staff. I also feel like I need a stronger disposition. I tend to shut down when there is conflict and I am bad at confronting problems especially when it’s between adults. I need to get over that fear and “speak up and speak out and speak truth”. I also would like to be a better public speaker, I got some practice through class participation but I felt like it is different over Zoom. I noticed that I still get nervous and my voice shakes and so this is something I need to continue working on.

Bigger picture, I would like to continue to improve my facilitation skills to make meetings, teams on campus, and classes more democratic. I also need to better understand Restorative Justice as an approach that can be used in school as a life skill for staff and students.