The teen years can be times of enormous self-doubt: Why isn’t my hair right? Why did I wear this stupid outfit? Why don't I know what to do?

You can’t do much about the nature of teenage feelings. But you can help your teen develop the self-assurance that will help in tough times and inspire confidence to tackle challenges in school and out.

Here’s how:

• Call attention to the positive things your teen does. Mention that your teen is a creative writer or the neighborhood’s favorite petsitter. Be as specific as possible.

• Help your teen set achievable goals and plan ways to reach them.

• Take your teen's emotions seriously. Don’t dismiss feelings by saying, “You shouldn’t feel that way.” Your teen does feel that way. Instead, acknowledge your teen’s feelings.

• Listen to your teen's ideas with interest. Say things like, “What a great idea!” Even when you disagree, you might say, “Well, that’s a creative solution, but not one that I think we’re going to be able to try.”

• Go to your teen’s events whenever you can. Spending time on the sidelines or in the audience is a great way to show how important your teen is to you.

• Demonstrate how much you care. Say over and over that you think your teen is terrific.

Responsibility is about more than doing chores or turning in schoolwork on time. It also involves thinking ahead about how your words or actions will affect others or yourself, and then speaking or acting in a manner that is respectful of yourself and others.

Talk to your teen about responsibility. Say that you expect your teen to:

• Keep promises. Explain that people must know that your teen's word is a commitment. Your teen can be counted on.

• Admit mistakes. Being responsible is not the same as being perfect. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Responsible people make mistakes all the time. But they don’t just shrug them off. They admit their mistakes, apologize and make amends if necessary.

• Accept consequences. Sometimes mistakes have bad results. Responsible people deal with the results of their mistakes without trying to blame others. They learn from mistakes and rarely make the mistake a second time.

Be sure to recognize the effort when you see your teen taking these responsible actions!

Being the parent or guardian of a teen can often be a challenge. Here are three keys that can make this job a little easier:

1. Stay connected. Teens who have a close, warm and stable relationship with their families also are more likely to have close, kind and warm friendships with other teens and adults. They have more self-confidence. They are kind and know how to choose friends who are kind in return.

2. Stay tuned in. Know your teen’s friends, and know how your teen spends free time. Teens with families who are aware of these things are less likely to get into trouble than other teens. When you have a close relationship with your teen, your monitoring will seem more like caring and concern than like prying.

3. Give your teen some space to make choices and form opinions. As teens grow older, they need to learn how to make their own choices. If your teen spouts an opinion you disagree with, don’t get mad. Ask, “What makes you say that?” Listen, and then calmly give your reasons for your own opinion. You may both learn something!

Scientists think in ways that help them observe, understand and use what they discover. You can help your teen develop these thinking patterns in daily life.

To encourage scientific thinking:

• Foster curiosity. Ask your teen questions like, “Where do you think that came from?” and “How do you think they built that?”

• Promote flexibility. Ask questions like, “What if you looked at that from another angle?” “What are some other ways that could work?”

• Encourage orderly thoughts. “You are so good at using that app. I’d love to learn. Can you explain it to me, step by step?”

• Consider consequences. It’s not just a part of discipline that every action has a consequence. It’s also an important principle of science. Frequently, ask your teen, “What would happen if … ?”

• Prompt classification. Scientists use classification or grouping in many studies. “Can you suggest five perennials we could plant this year?”

• Inspire determination. Scientists often fail hundreds of times for every one success. Notice and appreciate it every time your teen sticks to something, especially if it was something difficult.