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Have your teenager's birthday during the lockdown?
Have your teenager's birthday during the lockdown?
As the school year abruptly comes to a halt for teenagers around the country, many may be mourning the loss of missed milestones.
It means no end-of-year goodbyes or celebrations with classmates and teachers.
And for high school seniors, the pandemic may dash hopes of walking across the stage at graduation.
Many families are experiencing social distancing blues – but it may be a particularly difficult transition for adolescents and teens who are redefining social lives and foregoing rites of passage.
“We all remember how important our friends were when we were 14, 15 and 16. Those shared experiences with peers were memorable parts of growing up,” says Terrill Bravender, M.D., M.P.H. chief of adolescent medicine at Michigan Medicine C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital.
“This is a stage in life when social connections and experiences are a healthy and critical part of development. Not being able to see friends, go to school events, play sports, all of this can cause sadness and major disappointment.”
Parents may struggle with the best way to manage teens’ reactions to the premature ending to the school year. Bravender offers his top advice for older kids coping with the impact of the COVID-19 quarantine. Read more
Explore alternative celebrations - for now
Explore alternative celebrations - for now
Teens had possibly been looking forward to big trips, sweet 16 parties, a musical or theater performance or sport event. And of course there are the quintessential traditions like grad night and graduation.
While some events may be postponed or rescheduled, others may be canceled altogether. Although nothing may completely replace them, a growing number of virtual events offer ways to celebrate in a less traditional format. From video conference dance parties in place of farewell to FaceTime hang outs and virtual concerts, teens are connecting in alternative ways.
Parents shouldn’t force these ideas on their kids but be supportive in helping them explore virtual substitutes perhaps in partnership with organizations or their school.
“Any opportunity to find community in a virtual space is valuable,” Bravender says. “The good news is that young people are already very comfortable in the virtual world through social media, so this won’t feel as foreign to them as it may feel for their families.
“Also remind them that this is a temporary situation and there will be opportunities to celebrate and mark these occasions in person later with friends and family,” he adds.
Be empathetic
Be empathetic
Parents may be tempted to remind their kids that they are lucky to be healthy during a worldwide pandemic. And that in the big picture, missing a dance isn’t such a big deal.
But resist saying those things.
“Anything that minimizes what teens are feeling is not helpful,” Bravender says. “I always tell my patients that feelings don’t have to make sense or be right or wrong. They just are. You just don’t want them to overwhelm you.”
Acknowledge their experience and validate that sadness or frustration by saying things like ‘that must feel awful” or “I can see why that would make you upset.”
“The key is for parents to provide empathetic listening for their teens, and also emphasize that we are all in this together,” Bravender says.
Embrace technology
Embrace technology
Technology rules shouldn’t completely go out the window – parents should still be mindful of what platforms their children are using and to make sure they are being safe.
But it’s OK to somewhat relax on the rules since kids will now rely on technology daily and for longer periods for school. And this might be a time when it’s OK for teens to spend a little more time on social media and their phones to stay in touch with peers.
Follow teens’ lead on shared activities
Follow teens’ lead on shared activities
Are you missing a family vacation your kids had looked forward to or not getting to do usual favorite activities? Ask your kids for ideas on what the family can enjoy together.
This could involve old fashioned board games, family movie nights or even video games or nerf gun fights.
“If your teen initiates or suggests an idea for a shared family activity, don’t shoot it down. Parents should jump at the chance and just go with it,” Bravender says. “Even if they want you to listen to a new song you think sounds horrible, keep an open mind. Meet the teen where they are.
“In many ways slowing down life this way brings new opportunities to learn more about your children during their teenage years when some parents may feel more disconnected from their kids.”
https://healthblog.uofmhealth.org/childrens-health/8-ways-to-help-teens-cope-social-distancing-blues
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