Frank is Teresa’s husband who is the oldest of the three sisters. Frank is unhappy working with his wife in their health-food business. He travels a lot for a living and doesn’t believe in what they’re selling, it all makes him miserable. Here he is talking to Teresa and suggests to her that he leave the business and set up as the owner of a pub.
Teresa, I’ve been doing a bit of thinking. Two and a half days at a health food convention being harassed by people who do vitamin therapy according to star signs reminded me of what deep down I’ve known for some time. We sell utter rubbish. No hang on, let me finish. I know you believe in it, I know you do. But just answer this. Were your parents happy running a hardware shop? Running a business together? So, why did you think you would be? Maybe you should run the business and I should go into something else. The thing is, Teresa, I hate selling things. Or specifically, I hate selling things that people don’t want and I don’t believe in. I’m not cut out for it. I like a nice straightforward transaction, you know? ‘Good evening, two pints of bitter, and a rum and coke.’ ‘Certainly, sir, ice and lemon? That’ll be five pounds fifty, thank you.’ End of transaction. Not, ‘Can I interest you in a double port while we’re at it? No? Well what about a set of toning tables, or cavity wall insulation?’ I can’t stand it, Teresa, it’s driving me insane. I want to do something simple. A pub, I want to run a pub. I’ve seen one for sale just outside Ripon.
Catherine - the youngest of the three sisters, Catherine is insecure, vain, selfish and obsessed with finding her perfect match. Here she expresses her frustration and bewilderment about why her relationships always go wrong.
I went to this counsellor - did I tell you this? - or a therapist or something and she said I had this problem and the problem was, I give too much. I just do too much for other people, I’m just a very giving person, and I never get any credit for any of it. I haven’t even got any friends. I mean, I have but I don’t like most of them, especially the women, and I try really hard, it’s just I’m very sensitive and I get taken for a ride, nothing ever goes right, every time. I mean, every time it’s the same - like with men. What is it with men? I love men. It’s just he didn’t even apologise or anything and how can he say on the phone he doesn’t want to see me any more? I mean, why now? Why couldn’t he have waited? I don’t know what to do, why does it always go wrong? I don’t want to be on my own, I’m sick of people saying I’ll be better off on my own, I’m not that sort of person. I can’t do it. I did everything for him, I was patient and all the things you’re supposed to be and people kept saying don’t accept this from him, don’t accept that like, you know, when he stayed out all night, not very often, I mean once or twice, and everyone said tell him to leave, but how could I because what if he did? Because they all do, everyone I’ve ever met does, they all disappear and I don’t know if it’s me or what. I don’t want to be on my own, I can’t stand it, I know it’s supposed to be great but I don't think it is. I can’t help it, it’s no good pretending, it’s so lonely and I can’t bear it.