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Local Parenting Resources
Local Parenting Resources
Greene County Education Service Center
Positive Parenting
Contact: ECMHTeam@greeneESC.org
Presentations on parenting by Heidi Wade, Fairborn Primary Clinical Mental Health Therapist
Consequences vs. Punishment
Consequences vs. Punishment
What Are Punishments?
A punishment is retribution (or vengeance) for a wrongful act. Punishment says to your child: you'd better think like me, or else. If you don't, I will make you pay (or suffer) until you make the choice I want you to make. A punishment doesn't respect the child's right to make a decision, even if that decision is a poor one.
Punishments arise out of anger and fear and often look like a withdrawal of love in order to get the child to do what you want them to do. This approach doesn't help kids develop new ways of taking responsibility for their behavior. It can also be destructive to the relationship.
What Are Consequences?
Consequences are the outcomes that result from one's behavior. There are generally two types of consequences: (1) natural, and (2) logical. And both are important when it comes to your child.
Natural consequences are behavior outcomes that are not necessarily planned by anyone, they just happen naturally. Here are some examples of natural consequences:
Your child doesn't wear his coat outside. He gets cold.
Your child loses their phone. They no longer have a phone to use.
Your child doesn't study enough for their exam. They fail their exam.
Logical consequences are behavior outcomes that are specifically planned by parents and other adults. Here are some examples of logical consequences:
You child doesn't do their chores. You take away their electronics privileges until their chores are completed.
Your child doesn't come home by curfew. You take away their going-out privileges for the next weekend.
Your child gets up late for school. You make them go to bed earlier.
Why Consequences are Important
Whether they are natural or logical, consequences help us all to learn and grow. When kids experience the results of their actions, they learn to make better choices and improve their behaviors. In short, consequences = learning.
Consequences communicate to your child that their behavior is their choice and their responsibility. Your responsibility is to help them learn how to face the consequences and how to make better decisions in the future.
Importantly, a consequence respects the child's right to make a decision, even if it's not a good one. It's not a withdrawal of love or a rejection. It's a matter-of-fact learning experience in which you maintain a better relationship with your child as you hold them accountable.
Consequences also give us the chance to parent from our principles instead of from a place of frustration, anger, or disappointment.
Further reading:
Resources
Resources
CDC Positive Parenting Tips
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
Presents concise, up-to-date information on more than 100 topics that impact children, teenagers, and their families.
Public Broadcasting Service (PBS)
Provides information for parents to learn about their children's development, positive parenting, safety, and health at various stages of a child's life
Keep Connected
Provides an online community of leadership, knowledge, and resources to members seeking support with parenting issues.
Zero to Three
Presents a collection of resources for parents designed to help them tune into what makes their children tick and guide them in how to best meet their child's needs
Circle of Parents
Effective parenting information for dealing with discipline, rules, schoolwork, and other family situations
Mental Health America
Parenting With A Mental Health Condition
Addresses parenting from a mental health perspective and provides links to information on children and mental illness, where to go to get help, and how to find support for parents and children
Military OneSource
Materials and information on programs for military parents
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