Strong Leads
Student Samples
Strong Leads
SOUND:
Boring Lead: A large rock rolled away.
Strong Lead: Crash, boom, bang, thump! An extremely heavy boulder went ripping down an embankment.
ACTION:
Boring Lead: While I was walking I slipped on melted ice cream.
Strong Lead: I lost my balance and my whole body thrashed and spiraled out of control after stepping in a puddle of melted mint chip ice cream that had fallen out of a young boy’s waffle cone.
FLASHBACK:
Boring Lead: I have been to a library.
Strong Lead: As I strolled through the Encinitas Library, I recalled the time I read a book filled with mystery, adventure, and a magical world filled with excitement.
QUESTION:
Boring Lead: Have you ever been to Disneyland?
Strong Lead: Can you imagine a world so exuberant, magical, and bodacious you’ll never want to leave?
DIALOGUE:
Boring Lead: “I want pancakes,” said Melissa.
Strong Lead: “Kathy, it’s time for breakfast,” yelled Melissa as she longed for her opportunity to devour a stack of piping hot, buttery, and syrup soaked pancakes.
DESCRIPTION:
Boring Lead: I went to the dentist.
Strong Lead: As I entered the stale, air conditioned room filled with tooth symbols surrounding me, I noticed a piercing sound coming from the other side of the wall.