Religious Trauma Coaching

Great question!

TLDR: 

– Worked with/for Dr. Marlene Winell for almost 2 years.
– ICF credentialed as a coach
– Certification for coaching in general via Lumia
– Certified through Forward-Facing Institute as a Health and Wellness coach using tools that can resolve trauma, but are useful for life optimization as well.
– Used to be a pastor and have a Masters of Divinity from Wake Forest University.

Here’s the long answer: 

I know for many who have left toxic religious cultures, a pastor-turned-coach is a suspicious thing. Many toxic religious environments have leaders that offer “counseling” who do not have appropriate qualifications and often cause harm.

In addition to that, working with trauma is a no-no in the coaching world because it’s so closely related to diagnosis and treatment via the medical model.

With those two things in mind, it was incredibly important for me to get adequate training in order to do this work.

I thought about going the mental health degree route to become a therapist. However,  religious trauma is not a featured part of mental health education curriculums. It’s not considered “evidence-based” and it’s not diagnosable because it has not yet made it into the DSM.

So, I forged my own path.

I started my education by spending time working with and for Dr. Marlene Winell, the psychologist who coined the term “Religious Trauma Syndrome.” With her supervision, I began seeing clients and running support groups for 1.5 years.

Through conversation with her, I found out about traumatologist, Dr. Eric Gentry. He developed something called Forward-Facing (combining acute relaxation skills with intentionality) as a method of trauma resolution. This method does not involve visiting past memories and is effective not only for resolving trauma, but optimizing for better quality of life whether you have trauma or not, so it fits really well into the world of coaching. The focus is not so much on what happened to you as it is on what’s happening to you now that’s keeping you from getting where you want to go. I’ve found this to be particularly empowering for religious trauma clients because we face that need to rebuild a life head on through our work.

In the meantime, I did want to have accountability for myself as a coach and International Coaching Federation is the gold standard for regulating coaches. I got the education I needed to become credentialed through them via Lumia and maintain my Associate Certified Coach status through them.

But ultimately, you get decide if I’m qualified to work with you. Are we a good fit? Do you feel listened to and understood when we have conversation? Are my methods in line with what you want? That’s what matters most.

I typically meet with clients for hour-long sessions (though I can meet for longer if we determine we need that). 

If we decide to do Forward-Facing coaching together, our first two sessions will involve some psychoeducation and a bit of between session work – some videos to watch and some journaling to help you clarify intentions. 

From there, I’ll teach you some physical skills to practice to interrupt your threat response so that you don’t feel anxious all the time and have more clarity and focus for what you actually want to be doing. 

We’ll also spend time talking about the unique aspects of religious trauma that affect your story and your threat response activation in the present. 

Sometimes there will be worksheets. Other times we’ll focus more on you understanding your story. We will always be paying attention to how your body responds to everyday life. And there will almost always be tea (at least on my end).

I also always end sessions by sending you a Session Rating Scale. It’s a very simple, 4-question form that opens up communication between us about what is working for you and not working for you specifically in our relationship. This is a quintessential part of Forward-Facing coaching, and I wish every coach and therapist I ever worked with had used it as well. It significantly speeds up our progress because it builds trust and helps me cater specifically to what works best for you.

While there are certain essential pieces to the psychoeducation and structure for building Forward-Facing skills, you get to partner with me in how our sessions go. It’s important that you have leadership of your process. Self-trust is an essential part of religious trauma recovery. 

Typically $150/hour

With Forward-Facing coaching, I like to start with discounted 5-session packages for $600 (buy 4, get one free). It takes a few sessions to get into a good rhythm with the new skills you’ll be learning.  

I have a very limited number of sliding scale spots available.  

What matters most to me is whether religious involvement is causing YOU harm. 

I studied religion for 8 years and loved every moment of it. Within my time I participated in iterations of religion that helped me heal. I remain an atheist.

And if I’m going to be totally frank with you, a few Christians actually helped me resolve my own religious trauma. 

Because trauma resolution happens when we confront triggers in a relaxed body. And not all Christians believe you'll go to hell if you disagree with them.

And all of that can be true without me needing to become a Christian again. Christianity was never a good fit for me.  As a hospital chaplain and a UU pursuing ordination, I have found the Unitarian Universalist tradition helpful in allowing me to appreciate all I've learned about Christianity in my studies without needing to compromise my integrity to explore spirituality with others.

A lot of times when we want to demonize all religion, we’re in threat response, trying to protect ourselves, and that makes perfect sense when our experiences of religion include harm and violence.

But ultimately, what matters most is your life. What is working for you. Are you able to choose for yourself whether or not you’re involved with religion? Or is fear compelling you to stay away or follow the rules? Both can be harmful.   

"The capacity you show and consistently demonstrate of bringing a calm nervous system to our session is profoundly healing in its own right. Your capacity to help contain what I’m wrestling with, that’s what I need."  – Georgia, Religious Trauma Coaching Client

"The tendrils of this trauma reached much deeper than I was aware. Emily helped me remove them, one by one, and I finally found the inner stillness I have been craving and searching for my entire life." – Venessa, Religious Trauma Coaching Client

Schedule a call wtih me! Let's find out if we're a good fit.