This week, your child learned about being “excited” and the Kimochis® kotowaza or

Japanese proverb—that accompanies this feeling: “Fun has to be fun for everyone.”

This kotowaza inspires and encourages children to feel the positive energy of fun and

excitement. Your child also learned how to control excited feelings. Play is an activity that

is very exciting for young children. When children get really excited, they might engage in

what is called “rough-and- tumble play.” Rough-and-tumble play helps children learn about

their bodies. It can also serve as an outlet for active children and helps develop the frontal

lobe of the brain, which is used to regulate behavior. This style of play teaches children to

both display and read body language that indicates when play needs to change or end.

Your child learned the tool called “Stop Hands,” which is a means to let friends know

when the current form of play has gotten to be too much. Stop Hands nonverbally say,

“I like you, but let’s play something else.” These are the four steps for Stop Hands:

1. Take a step back to make space.

2. Put up hands in a friendly way close to the body, palms facing out, fingers spread, to

gently indicate, “Stop.”

3. Use a Talking Voice and Face to speak the person’s name.

4. Say, “Stop, let’s play something else.”

See the next column for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

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Common Language

Stop Hands: Hold hands up near body in a friendly way that nonverbally says, “Please stop”

Coach Excited Feelings During the Day

• Guide your child to use Stop Hands when you notice that play has gotten too wild for your child.

• Acknowledge when your child uses Stop Hands to let friends or siblings know that the play is no

longer fun. “I admire how you used your Stop Hands to let Ben know the play was too wild.”

• Acknowledge your child when he/she is enjoying excited feelings, but is staying inbounds with voice volume and body actions.

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice

• Excited Dance Party. Dancing to music can create excited feelings. Do an “Excited Dance” to fun, playful music. Start with a little excitement and slowly build up to BIG excitement. End by slowing down the movement to a “little excited” again, to help your child learn to control his/her body and actions.

• Excited Countdown. When you have an upcoming event (family trip, family reunion, fun party) that is exciting for all your family members, do a countdown on your calendar. Each day, count how many more days there are until the exciting event. When it finally arrives, everyone can talk about how excited they are for the event.

• Hot and Cold. On days that your child gets a special treat, tell your child that you will hide the treat somewhere in the house. (Unless, of course, it is ice cream!) Tell your child to look for it. As he/she gets closer to the hiding place, say, “Warmer, warmer, hot!” If your child is getting far away from the hiding place, say, “Colder, cold.” Continue until your child finds the treat. Then celebrate the excitement together!