Rants

Blankets

If there's one thing I love more than any other creation on earth, it's blankets. I love the soft feeling of a blanket on my skin, the warm feeling of taking a nap randomly and being hot but comfortable at the same time. I love napping with my favorite blanket with dressed up foxes, polar bears, and bunnies. My boyfriend and I's fox stargazing blanket, too. My galaxy comforter, pillowcase, and sheet. If I could, I'd collect blankets. I even have an Insane Clown Posse blanket, for fuck's sake!

There's always been something about blankets to me since I was a kid that provided a sense of security and safety. When I was younger, I always had to have my feet covered. I still do, actually. Blankets are just amazing to me, and each has its own memories and purpose. A lap blanket, a blanket for bed, a travel blanket, a comfort blanket, etc.

I'm also very possessive of my blankets. If someone is able to use or hold my blanket, I trust them very much or love them like hell. It's not that they're expensive, they just mean a lot to me and they represent security, something I need; especially after the Trauma.

Winter

I was born in the summer, so maybe that's why I love it so much. But I hate being cold. Like, if I'm cold, then I get bitchy and I can't sleep and I just feel like shit. I'd rather be hot than cold because there's always ways to cool off, and because I just like being warm.

But another reason why I love summer is because I hate winter- and everything good happens in the summer. Cookouts, swimming, horse trail rides, warm rains, stargazing, steamy sex, and ice cream. Who doesn't love the wind whipping through their hair, warm sun on their skin, and good friends laughing with you at some random joke?

Apparently the sun is supposed to be good for your depression, and I guess that's true. But the thing I love most is swimming. I could swim all day, no sunburn, calm water, no clouds, and a light breeze. It's perfect for me. Forests and cities make me nervous, but I feel completely okay around water.

Relationships

The hard part about relationships is that you sometimes don't know if they're the one, and you end up giving them everything and they give you nothing in return. Or maybe someone else catches their eye and they turn away without a second thought. Other times, it just doesn't work out.

That person you once thought you'd spend the rest of your life with is now the one you're hoping you don't come across on the street or in school or at the store, that person you talked for hours with is now the person you argue with for hours. They're the person you once loved and now you hate with a passion. That person you used to get nervous around is now the person who makes you pissed off more than anything.

What hurts is now that person holds the secrets to your heart and you can't get those back.

My wants (explicit)

I have a weird ass mind, and it sometimes likes to think of things I can't do with anyone because I haven't found the right person. They say find someone who can run wild with you, not someone who tries to reign you in. These are the things I found I love and things I want with that person I hope I find.

I'm the type that's submissive at times and seductive at others, I'm not the type to go out there and be upfront about what I want, because I'm afraid of being rejected. If someone comes up to me and tells me what they want and what they want from me, I'm usually on board because I like trying new things and sometimes I just need to get away from shit for a while and the only good way to do that is to put someone's body to the test with mine. I like to be taken control of and I like someone who knows what they want, but won't just force anything on me. One who knows when to stop when I want them to stop.

I'm the type that likes to be used and mistreated and fucked, but also cherished and loved and caressed. We could have rough sex and then cuddle and watch a movie right after. I don't open up that easily though, because I've been with people who didn't understand the difference between sex and fucking. I'm not a very open person in the first place, what makes certain guys think they automatically have the right to seeing parts of me I don't like showing and saying things I rarely say?

But on the other hand, I want a guy that's not afraid to be rough with me. I don't want a guy that says sorry if he does anything a little rougher than usual, I want a guy that can look me in the eyes and fuck the hell out of me. I want a guy that takes what he wants when I say he can have it, I want a guy that knows how far I want them to go and can go there. Or a girl, I'm bisexual and I love both sides of love.

The odd thing about me is that I can easily shift from sweet to rough in seconds. I have that weird mix of nice and mean that play well with each other and feed into the other. I have that element of love and lust, and I don't know if that's good or bad sometimes. I can either think about everything I want to be doing and do it, or just go with what my body wants and see where it goes. I don't really have a medium, I swing from one end to the other.

People

One of my pet-peeves: When people know you're in a bad mood, or you're not feeling good, and yet they still pester you and bother you about stupid shit that doesn't even matter. "I noticed you didn't take the garbage out, why's that?" BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET AROUND TO IT.

Or when you have earbuds in and people try to talk to you. THAT shit pisses me off so much. You can see that I'm purposely trying to ignore you, so why are you trying to get my attention? Is it really that important? And do I really give a shit? If someone's not dying or if my boyfriend isn't there, I don't really give a shit.

And when people touch me without me saying they can? Be prepared to lose a finger or an arm. I don't like being touched by certain people and at certain times, and don't fucking throw shit at me thinking it's funny because I'll throw a brick at your head and laugh my ass off.

Same with touching my things. I don't like people touching anything of mine, especially when I'm in a bad mood or it's something expensive or precious. Like, Bitch I can't trust you with a rock, what makes you think I can trust you with my $100 tablet?

And my friends? I'm so fucking protective of my friends it's not even funny. Being my friend includes daily hugs and check ins, weird conversations, laughing till you can't breathe, sexual innuendos, dirty jokes, and sharing food and hoodies. If you can't deal with that, oh well.

Math

Okay, So us children of this wonderful world have to go to school or we get into big trouble. Right? So, we go and we have to learn English and math and history. Now, When you break it down, we all have to keep the state happy or we don't have a place to learn anymore and we have to find a new place to learn. So there's this whole thing going around that the reason why our math is so fucking COMPLICATED is because we keep up with china and japan and shit in being smart or else we look bad. I mean, we already look bad but anyways, it makes no fucking sense to me. If someone makes a sandwich better than us, do we have to learn how to make a gourmet sandwich to one-up them?

And if we're forced to learn stupid shit, why are we graded on it? like, we already are forced to be there, why the hell make it seem like it's our responsibility to look good on paper for the school? It's not fucking fair because I can barely remember the things I have to and they're filling my useless brain with shit I know I'll never use. We have calculators and google, and who the fuck stands in the store and calculates shit on paper and thinks about every cent? People don't work like that! like WHO THE FUCK CALCULATES THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF SEEDS THAT SPROUT IN A FIELD? Are these people crazy? Do they need mental help? And do we not have the doctors to fix them?

Report abuse