DHS Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

Joe Vinci

Staff Writer

For years people have speculated that zombies will overtake our society, but recently, it seems as if it is just a matter of time before a zombie virus ravages and destroys our towns and cities. It is inevitable that we will face these zombies and it is a necessity to know what to do. The first thing that we Damien brothers must do is stick together. There is safety in numbers, and in the zombie apocalypse, you never know who you can trust. All students and alumni will meet and set up a new zombie-proof civilization. The priests who live on campus will check for Damien ID cards before letting anybody on campus. Only students, alumni, and their families will be allowed inside.

Once we are here safe, we must barricade the campus to keep any zombies from getting in. Damien is already surrounded by gates giving us an advantage, but if the zombies are anything like they were in Resident Evil or World War Z the current gates will not be enough. The gates will have to be reinforced using materials already within the campus. Desks, lunch benches, and even hurdles can be used for this. If so much as one zombie is able to get in our impregnable fortress, it could mean the end for Damien as a society after the fall of civilization. All students must contribute to ensure the safety of the new Damien world. The gates in the senior lot and by the attendance office will have to be fortified to prevent zombies from getting in, but also allow us to evacuate in the worst case scenario. Student’s cars can be modified to create a mobile wall that will keep out zombies but also be easy to move if need be.

With all of the students safe inside the newly fortified Damien campus, there arises the question of how to feed all of these people. The baseball fields can be dug up and used to plant crops. In order to get seeds and other supplies, we will have to send out search parties.

These search parties will be made up of mainly freshmen, as they are the newest to the community and need to learn the ropes. There will, however, be a time when we have no crops and need food. At this time, students and faculty alike will be welcome to negotiate for supplies with the lunch ladies and the owner of Kim’s market. The owner of Kim’s and his family will be the only non-Damien personnel who will be allowed to stay at Damien.

As time goes on, the facilities within Damien will have to be fortified. It is completely possible that in the future the strength of Damien’s outer gate might be compromised. In the event of this disaster, all members of our new society must be able to defend themselves against zombies and have the ability to barricade themselves in a safe place. Football, lacrosse, and hockey pads can be used as armor against the zombies. Hockey skates, javelins and any sort of stick can be used as a defense against any zombies. It is crucial to remember that the brain is a zombie’s weak spot so body shots will not work. Worst case scenario, if our camp at Damien is completely overrun, the impenetrable door locks in every classroom will serve as a last line of defense and give the Spartans warriors ample time to devise a strategic counterattack. Students and their families who end up living at Damien will have to hole up in classrooms around campus until all the zombies can be cleared out.

It can be concluded that Damien High School has the capacity and potential to survive and thrive in a post-apocalyptic, zombie-infested world. The only question or doubt is do YOU have the capacity and potential? Are you willing to put in the work that it takes to survive in an apocalyptic wasteland? You need to because we need you to. In the not so distant future when the zombies come, we must all step up to the challenge and survive. Spread the word, Damien will not be conquered by these undead Zombie scum!