Relationship Building

We can not directly dictate how government relates to Indigenous Peoples on a nation-to-nation basis, but we can indirectly impact them by creating living examples at the grassroots levels of what we expect from leaders on a national scale.  

This is not an exhaustive list.  Always refer back to the local protocols in your area, especially if work has already been done to develop joint protocols with other groups and/or on a community or regional scale.

• Ask about the protocol for speaking to leaders, traditional teachers, and elders to determine what is customary regarding gifts and compensation.  This may be different between people and nations (for instance, do not assume all Indigenous people want to receive tobacco).  Who would they prefer to speak to from your group/organization?

• Take the time to learn about their history, customs, and worldviews, and to attend the events they offer that are open to the public before demanding they come specifically to your group. This shows an investment in relationships and a genuine desire to learn.

• If you ask an Indigenous person to speak, educate, or share knowledge:

  • •  pay them a professional wage for their time, preferably at the event.  In most cases, it would be highly inappropriate not to, as you are asking them to do the extra labour of educating their oppressors, which makes them vulnerable to verbal attacks and other abuses that are common when settlers are asked to change their perspectives. 

    • invite them to share what is meaningful to them on the topic you've requested rather than having expectations of what they must share. Part of un-colonizing is challenging the notion that Indigenous peoples should show up for non-Indigenous peoples, in the ways that are convenient for them. When hosting, let the audience know that the presenter has your blessing to share what is on their heart and mind.

• Relationship building should be at a mutually enjoyable pace and not driven by a particular outcome needed by settler peoples.  This should be ongoing; not something that is started to meet a need of your group.  Think years, not weeks or months.   Think open-ended rather than goal-orientated. 

• Assume that the culture of your group ( how you speak, make decisions, divide roles, resolve conflict, provide leadership, etc.) will differ from the Indigenous people you want to interact with.  Avoid imposing your approach on them, as wonderful as you might think it is.  Take the time to learn how to interact respectfully according to their culture(s).

• If you mutually decide to work together on something, co-creating a third culture may be helpful to add clarity about how those involved will speak to each other, protocols, decision-making,  and resolving conflicts. This takes time to develop and would likely be a later part of relationship building. Be explicit and, if appropriate,  consider creating a covenant explaining how you will speak, listen, show respect, resolve conflict,  and treat each other.  State things positively (We will bring conflict issues to the person involved as soon as appropriate. If we need more help we will bring it to ______"). 

• Ensure that Indigenous participants representing an organization, group or Nation are free to choose who represents them at the table. Ensure that the bodies present are weighted in favour of Indigenous representatives to help balance power.

• If you mutually decide to work together, decide what you will co-create.  Be prepared that these decisions may involve consultation with their larger community/organization. 

• Aim to listen WAY more than you speak.  When you speak, try to use a calm pace and give space between each person's point to demonstrate that everyone is being listened to and their input properly considered before the next idea is brought forward.

• Be prepared to address issues of trust,  keeping in mind that there is really good reason for Indigenous peoples to be suspicious of settlers and our causes, as they are constantly approached by settlers to "engage in reconciliation" based on the settler people's worldviews, political agendas, research fascinations, economic pursuits, environmental urgencies, and religious ideologies. 

• Be open to receiving correction.  Be mindful that it might come in less direct ways or through people choosing not to participate.  If you receive correction, listen intently without interrupting, explaining, or defending.  It is a good sign if someone is willing to invest in you this way.

• In the white supremacy culture characteristics a sense of urgency is listed as a defining characteristic.  In your movement/initiative notice when a sense of urgency takes centre-stage in front of building relationships, in front of doing your un-colonizing work, in front of hearing about lived experiences, or carefully examining the repetitive patterns of colonial governments towards Indigenous governments. 

• Do not announce Indigenous involvement just because you're starting to build relationships with Indigenous peoples, Nations or organizations.  This is a sore spot as government, academia, and industry have been sneaky in calling any conversations or engagement with Indigenous people "consultation."  If you decide to work together on an initiative, be sure to follow whatever protocol they have for making that official.