"Hidden Monster"

“I want to write a story like that,” I told myself as a young kid when I watched the original Ben 10 TV show. I loved watching cartoons starting from when I was little all the way till now. I used to watch shows like Dinosaur King and Ben 10 which inspired my interest in making up stories about fantastical creatures. This affinity for stories transferred over to my writing; in elementary school, I often wrote about strange anthropomorphic creatures, unique alien planets, or monsters with mysterious powers. While I never expected to write a professional-grade story, or even a good story, I tried my hardest to write as well as I could. 

When I entered eighth grade, the COVID lockdowns had been in place for about five months. I found it fun at first, playing video games and drawing all day, but I realized I missed in-person interactions with my peers. In the past, my stories always revolved around more fantastical elements and fictional concepts, but I soon became fascinated with people and social interactions. I watched shows like Avatar: The Last Airbender and Teen Titans and read a manga series called Tokyo Ghoul which inspired me to write stories revolving around interpersonal relationships. I created a character named Carina, who started as a background character in a team of dystopian sci-fi superheroes. I drew concepts of each character, and when drawing Carina, I wanted to differentiate her from the other characters, so I gave her horns. I never thought much about why I gave her horns, but eventually, they changed the way I perceived Carina. 

When I entered high school, I thought about developing Carina’s story further. I talked to my neighbor and famous graphic novelist, Gene Luen Yang, about my interest in writing a graphic novel. He liked the ideas I presented to him, but he noticed that I lacked a cohesive story structure. He taught me about narrative flow and three act structures. Uncle Gene gave me a lot to think about, especially for what the story’s ending should be. But like for myself, I could only see Carina’s story ending in despair. 

In my senior year, I took a Screenwriting and Character class. I wrote plenty of stories that impressed my teacher and my peers, but I dreaded the final project: writing the entire first act of an original two-hour screenplay. I decided I would write about Carina, but I still hated the ending. I felt stuck. As the final project came around, my diocese invited me to a dinner for Catholic youth leaders. During the dinner, one of the youths gave a speech about avoiding a life of despair. He explained that no matter how many times we fell into sin, it only mattered that we picked ourselves up and continued to follow the Lord. His speech moved me, but also gave me an epiphany. Carina’s story would start with a fall but end in forgiveness and redemption. 

At first, Carina only served as a one-dimensional superhero whose only purpose was to showcase novel superpowers. But as my storytelling skills developed, so did she. In a way, Carina still reflects who I am but in a different light. Carina represents not only how I progressed in my faith journey and developed my writing skills, but also a fulfillment of my childhood dream to write my very own story.