"Family Prevails When Life Cannot"

To my dearest nephew Gawain, Knight of the Round Table, brave and fair in Camelot and presently Hautdesert, King Arthur sends peace and glory.

The gleaming sun stretched its orange hands into my bedchamber this morn, calling me to the opening of which my eyes feasted on the bountiful, lush hills sprawled as far as I could see. I will admit I was nearly brought to my knees in a moment of weakness, as I recalled last month how you were dressed “with gear that glimmered and gleamed” on the most powerful steed, blending into the verdant landscape as naturally as fish belong in the stream (Sir Gawain 569). So only the sun can prove me a liar, as it seems the entirety of Camelot has mourned your presence for forever, instead just one dull month while the sun and the moon spin circles around us. We sense your loss the most in our trainings, which are lacking: Eric can barely hit the bullseye thrice in a row anymore, the sword of Ywain clangs to the ground through his now clumsy hands, and even Sir Dodinal the Dreaded looks approachable. The once ravenous knights now barely finish one plate at supper without their brother hither. I need you to know that your imminent death will never be erased from our minds; the hole in our hearts never healed.

I shall speak to you foremost as an uncle whose intention calls upon your journey thus far. Luck is so much as a skill, of which you have perfected. Your fate now rests in the true hands of our God, who is watching over you now just as I have provided you solace when you were a mere child. My boy, do you remember when the green giant first commanded everyone’s attention, and the knights gaped and went “mute with amazement,” were “stunned and stilled by dread” (233, 246)? It was then that I rose, the lone challenger, to greet the new guest. Do as I have and push aside the tremor in your hand and the knot in your throat to remind your able body of its competence in action. Trust that I have led you correctly during your intense trainings. Those copious years you have spent in knighthood all led up to the confident gaze that met my own eyes as the axe expired in my hands and fell into yours. I looked at you in that moment and did not see just another knight, but my own nephew who was sacrificing himself for the kingdom’s reign. Every meal we are reminded of the resounding thwack of your strength as “that bright steel blade took a bite from the floor” just mere meters away from the ornate table; the crude notch tarnishing the beautiful, handcrafted oak floor (426). You opened our blinded eyes of selfishness and greed to consequently take your own life away, for which our hearts brim with gratitude. I pray for good fortune to arrive when the time eventually transpires.

Mustn't we forget about Mary herself, whose steady eyes will provide the motherly comfort you so need. Both sides of the shield are like the flip of a coin: not complete without the other. You must not value one more than the next. My own father warned me so when I was your age, yet I failed to respect your grandfather’s wishes in my first battle on the River Dubglas. I had just narrowly escaped from the East Anglians and feeding off the pride from my first victory, I marched right onto the next challenger without a second thought. As the rolling hills parted to make way for the river, to my utter surprise, the determined warrior Colgrin was already waiting for my small knighthood with a line of soldiers that stretched as far as the eye could see. If I closed my eyes to overlook the gruesome sights of war and screeching sounds of metal on bone, I could hear the strong voice of my father ring out to scold me for being so careless. I let my ego overpower my reason, Gawain, and I vowed in that breathstopping moment that if I made it out alive that it would be the first and last time it happened.

I am indebted to you, and I hope you can forgive me for not speaking my mind sooner. It is an arduous situation to know one’s death is just around the corner, waiting to pounce. I trust that you will honor our Code until the very end, no matter how the green giant taunts you. As I always say, a wise knight listens and takes in more instruction. If you find your emotions getting the best of you, take a step back. Be careful, Gawain, if everything is not as it seems. Oftentimes, the only person one may trust is oneself.

I write no more to you at this time, but God gives his grace with the rest of us. May you continue in good health and good spirits. I have hope that you already hold yourself to the highest standards. Any other knight would back down in the direct face of danger, yet you flourish. Be reminded of your family as you look into the great eye of the green giant, and smile for all that you have given us.

Your courage and spirit will live among us for eternity, fluttering evermore in our minds like a captive bird begging for its freedom, reminding us of whom we failed to protect.

Uncle Arthur