Unscripted

Where the Darties At?

By Logan Anderson (landerson14@css.edu)

May 5, 2025

Students at The College of St. Scholastica have been puzzled by the recent surge of deer parties, otherwise known as Darties. These elusive events have been popping up around campus this spring, creating questions and uncertainty. I have made it my mission this past month to get to the bottom of these strange gatherings.

A Darty is a festive function attended by three or more deer, though the groups have been known to surpass two hundred on occasion. There are often refreshments such as fermented fruits and foraged mushrooms. The participants may string decorative flowers and grasses from their antlers, and roll in dyes made from berries to color their fur. 

Darties primarily happen outdoors, however some of the rowdier occasions have found the hooved creatures inside the halls of St. Scholastica, leaving trails of excrement on the floor and eating posters off the walls. The perpetrators have never been caught in the act, but extensive security footage proves their guilt. 

The timing of these Darties seems to have no rhyme or reason. Deer are known to be crepuscular creatures, meaning they are most active during the twilight hours of dawn and dusk. Campus Security has added a post during these hours to prevent any mischief from happening on campus, but these deer don’t seem to operate on their regular schedule. True party animals, they can be found celebrating at any hour of the day or night. 

Through diligent observation, I have discovered that they tend to be the most active right after a rainstorm passes through. Presumably, this is so that they can hold the most anticipated Darty event—the great mud Slip and Slide. The event takes place on a hill, which makes Duluth a hub for Darty activity. Some deer are thought to travel all the way from Canada to indulge in the superior sliding conditions. 

Other popular activities include firelit dancing in the woods, arts and crafts activities and lively water games in Lake Superior. Sometimes, Darties even feature musical circles, which the deer perform by blowing into flute-like instruments and rhythmically pounding on rocks with their hooves.

So, what do people at CSS think about these deer parties? 

“I wish I could join them, but I’m not cool enough. They keep running away from me,” said student Addie Rikkola.

This sentiment was reflected by many other students I talked to. Many wish that they could permeate these mysterious cliques, but this has proved to be impossible. Some have pointed out the language barrier, while others mention that maybe humans and deer just don’t have enough in common.