She uses this in her song to describe her pain but her pain is better then the nothingness she would feel without him. 

This line is suspected by fans as a reference to an Alcoholic's Anonymous group that has "cult-like tendencies." This leads back to her struggle with alcoholism.

The words white lines could refer to white lines as in cocaine. This relates to her depressive state and this is the only way she can cope. 

Lana del Rey opens the video with her putting on a white veil and continues to walk aimlessly on the path. She wears a white short wedding dress which represents purity. 

The man filming on an iPhone 8 puts his fingers in Lana del Rey mouth and lips and eerily sings the lines: "he hit me and it felt like a kiss" with a smile almost saying it as a way of affection.  She does this act as incoherently as possible and looks up at the man in a comforting but confusing way. 

Lana del Rey picks up a bouquet of flowers off the floor and again the color white appears. She walks toward a church and inside she is alone but with the man filming. She holds the flowers close to her chest while she's on her knees on the alter almost as if she is praying.