Families

"What characters embody the Chickens, those reminders of the dark side of human nature and human mind?  A zest for life first and foremost, but it goes deeper than that.  Deeper to an ethos of living without constraints.  You can, with reasonable accuracy, attribute any small disaster to a Chicken.  If the overwhelming odor of pork sausage envelopes a party, overcoming those of weaker constitution and generally turning the stomachs of all present, you can expect to find a Chicken at the helm of the disturbance.  Chickens rarely show remorse, and often take quite the opposite tack, inviting a confrontation of will at any moment, because they know they’ll win.  But it is that headstrong and cocksure attitude which makes them so charming, so unique, and such an asset to the group.  Keeping with their reputation, Chicken heirlooms tend towards the cumbersome, exotic, and generally unappealing.  Their family shot, the Sandinista (two shots tequila, one shot Tabasco, black pepper, and the ash of a half-smoked cigarette) also shows their true colors.  But I am just a Playboy, and really have no place describing these exceptional individuals.  Had they turned in a discourse on their family, I imagine it would include no more than a general insult to the reader and an especially graphic scatological reference."

- Alex Langerman

  Class of 1999 (and not a Chicken)

Current Family Shot: Mystery Shot

"The Dinosaurs, unlike most families, have a very special characteristic.  We go extinct on a routine basis.  Our most current period of resurrection began back in the fall of 1992 [currently in the Fall of 2016] and has been going ever since.  Today the dinosaurs are known for their zeal and rambunctious behavior, coupled with a lust for life and everything that goes with it."

- Dan Fellars

  Class of 1999

Current Family Shot: Brooklyn Prostitute

"The Fish Family was founded in 1975 by Don Fraker.  The Fish are known for their uncanny ability to ingest copious amounts of alcohol at social gatherings.  Fish are almost always leaders in Phi Kappa Nu, in elected positions or as respected commentators during the meetings and other gatherings.  There is an old refrain that there are only two families, Newts and Fish.  Some of the Fish Family heirlooms are the Fish Banner, the Fish Pitcher, the Fish Chair, the Buddha, and the Fish Shirt."

- Scott Walton

  Class of 2000

Current Family Shot: Wild Turkey Bourbon

"Founded by Kevin Donovan, the Phoenix Family, more than any other family, exemplifies the five fold purpose of Phi Kappa Nu.  Traditionally the Phoenixes have drawn from two manifest, but not without intersection, groups.  These being members who wish to enrich their cultural being through the study and appreciation of the arts, notably music, and those who desire to enrich their body through the pursuit of sport exercise.  Thus Phoenixes tend to be far more artistic and athletic than their counterparts in other families, making for good leaders and role models.  In all, the Phoenix strive to be well-rounded individuals socially as well as in other areas of collegiate life.  We boast having the original advisier, the esteemed Dr. Weddle, as a member of the family, inducted in 1989 during spring pledging.  With such outstanding roles, it becomes hard for members of the Phoenix Family not to be optimistic for our future.  A future so bright, we gotta wear shades.  Some of our heirlooms include the Phoenix Foundation, the Family Paddle, the Family plaque, and the Stop sign.  The family shot has shifted a few times, originally being a scotch, then the Snakebite, and is now a Flaming Dr. Pepper (in keeping with our fiery namesake)."

- Jerry Landfeldt (Updated by Ryan Conrardy, Class of 2016)

  Class of 2000

Current Family Shot: Flaming Dr. Pepper

"Charming, affectionate, driven, loyal, these are the words that describe the Playboys of latter years. Playboys are not only compassionate for our brothers and sisters, but the community as a whole. Playboys are an exceptional breed and this trait is what makes them stand out. Playboys  can be found giving life to a party or engaging in lively conversations near the punch bowl. Playboys are not only living life to the fullest in social events, but they are active in leadership roles in the group and throughout the campus. As written by Alex Langerman, Class of 1999, 'Playboys never abuse their stature, always using it for the common betterment of society. They embody Kennedy’s poise, Lincoln’s temperance, and Jefferson’s intellect.'"

- Carsen Kuesel

  Class of 2010

Current Family Shot: Tequila Sunrise

"Owning its name to Tim Tuberty, one of the founders of Phi Kappa Nu, the Tuberty family is one of only two families to stay true to their roots and remain unchanged in title since its founding.  A Tuberty has oftentimes been a well rounded individual, easily excelling in the social and leadership folds.  A Tuberty’s emphasis on manners, appropriateness, and overall social sense only adds to his or her natural leadership abilities.  The Tuberty strives to be classy but not conceited, publicly modest, and calmly confident.  They are also one of two families in recent history to induct a female member (Jennifer “Fred” Ramstad, Class of 1997), the other family being the Fish Family (Kate Brown, Class of 2006).  The Tuberty heirlooms include the bomb, a hollowed out bombshell that has been possessed by many different groups; the love ewe, an inflatable toy ewe; and the piranha, a handmade piece of pottery from Austin, TX."

- Chris Milliard (updated by Ron Logan, class of 2011)

  Class of 1999

Current Family Shot: The Tonsillectomy 

"The Walker Family has traditionally been a well-rounded family within Phi Kappa Nu.  Over the years the family has consisted of artists, musicians, and athletes.  Originally, we were the non-alcoholic and non-smoking family.  Although known as milk drinkers, milk is not our family shot.  Our shot was originally Johnny Walker Red, but was changed at one point to Rumpleminze, a 100-proof peppermint schnapps imported from Germany.  The shot has since been restored to Johnny Walker Red.  The family is also known for having a large amount of heirlooms.  The “King” Walker stick is passed down to the head Walker each year.  Other heirlooms include the hairdryer, the mallet of power, the inflatable guitar, the family handcuffs, and many others."

- Shane Smith (updated by Ron Logan, class of 2011)

  Class of 2000

Current Family Shot: Apple Pie Moonshine