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Jerry Seinfeld on his joke writing process.
Jerry Seinfeld on his joke writing process.
Sometimes is takes years to get a joke just right.
These are jokes shared by my students with me : )
These are jokes shared by my students with me : )
Updated May 13, 2021
Updated May 13, 2021
These are jokes that have been hand written and presented to me at carpool, slid under my door or handed to me in class. Laughter is the best medicine!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I like prefer peanuts : )
-Pablo
What did 37 say to 4?
I am very well in my prime
-Yaniss
What animal needs to wear a wig?
A Bald Eagle
-Joaquin
Why did the robber jump in the shower?
-To get a clean get away
Why did the person jump over the clock?
-To get over time!
What did the frog say when it was mad?
I'm ready to hop out of here
-Reid
What did the Stormtrooper say to his friend on May 4th?
May the fourth be with you
-Maddy
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9
What did the Pony get on its report card?
Straight Neighs!
-Libby
Why does the teacher draw on the window?
So her answers will be clear
-Nishika
What kind of art does a cow make?
Mooo-saics
What is Mother's favorite type of dance?
the Mom-bo
If a snake went to school, what would be its favorite subject?
Hisss-tory
Why did the coffee waddle?
Because it can't walk!
-Grayson
What did the fish say to the other fish after it was hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut!"
-Leah
Henry knocked on the door of the refrigerator before opening it.
His Dad asked, "Why did you knock"?
Henry said,' Because there might be a salad dressing!"
What does a dog want to be when they grow up?
a Dog-ter
-Jayden
Why did the banana stay home from school?
It was not peeling well.
How did the horse answer the phone?
Hello NEIGH-bor
-Grayson
What is the opposite of a cool cat?
A hot dog
-Leah
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's okay. He woke up.
-Kian
What did the Buffalo Dad say when he dropped off his boy at school?
Bi-Son
-Kuhu
What did the police officer say to his belly button?
You are under a vest!
-Cabe
How does a frozen chicken cross the road?
In a shopping bag
-Ruquaya
How does a big violin say in greetings?
Chello!
How does a chicken take the EOG test?
Using a chrome-bok bok
What did the injured villain say to Batman?
I have you in my crutches!
-Yaniss
Why did the chicken play the drums?
He had his drumsticks!
-Alexandra
What kind of cheese do dogs love?
MUTS-arella
-Martin
Why do actors say break a leg?
Because every movie has a cast!
-Ayaansh
Updated April 20, 2021
Updated April 20, 2021
How do you plan a space party??
You planet!!
Which fish do penguins eat at night?
StarFish!!
-Moturayo
Why did the gym close?
because it just did not work out
-Samantha S.
What do you call a chicken that sees lettuce?
Chicken Sees a salad (sounds like Caesar Salad)
-David C
Why did the toilet paper go down the stairs?To get to the bottom!
-Reid
What is a baby triangle called?
Acute triangle!!!
-Yannis
. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Answer: Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels!
. Where do snowmen keep their money? Answer: In a snow bank!
. What do you call a person dancing in your rear-view mirror? Answer: A backup dancer!
-Irin
Why do people no longer sit near basketball players?
Answer: Because they dribble too much!
-Ryan A
Why should you pour water on books?
Answer: So you can grow knowledge! -Jackson V.
Q: Want to hear a construction joke?
A: Oh never mind, i am still working on that one -Samantha S.
1. What do you call a student who never turns in his math homework on time
A calcu-later.
2. What did the math book say to the psychiatrist?
"would you like to hear my problems?"
3. Why was the science teacher angry?
He was a mad scientist
Thanks - Lucius
Joke: What is a pigs favorite karate move
Answer: The pork chop
Joke: Why did the banana go to the doctor
answer: because it wasn't peeling well
-Alice
Joke: What is a squirrel? “A nutcracker”
-Niyati
What is a car that cannot drive?
Madagascar
-Ayaansh
Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?
Answer: In case she needed to draw blood!
-Ryan A
Why do fish swim together? Because from Monday to Friday - their in schools!
-Jered
Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they have honeycombs
-Samantha S
What did the apple say to the dinosaur,
You are so extinct.
What did thye teacher grade the trees homework?
A tremendous job!
Question. What is the best kind of cook
Answer. A cookie
-Olivia
Q: What did the egg say to the frying pan?
A: You crack me up
Q: What kind of picture do you take with a surfer?
A: A surfie
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: Because the donkey, the chicken, and the mascot for Chick-fil-A were all on vacation
Q: Why did the student study on a hang glider?
A: Because he wanted a HIGHER education
Q: What do you give a sick lemon?
A: Lemon Aid
-Sarah
Why did the picture go to jail?
-Because it was framed.
What is a moon's favorite gum?
-Orbit
Why was the cook arrested?
-He was beating an egg.
-Dhatri
Q: Why did the boy throw his clock out the window!
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q: Where do polar bears put their money!
A; In snowbanks!
-Samyak
JOKE: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
ANSWER: Because she always runs away from the ball.
~ Clara
Q: Why did the M&M want to go to school
A: It wanted to be a Smartie
~ Samantha
Why do ducks make the best detectives?
They always quack the case.
~ Avni
Q: Which rock group has four men that don't sing?
A: Mount Rushmore!
~ Martin
How do you greet your shoes?,,,High tops!Why did the donkey cross the road?,,,Because the chicken was on vacation!
~ Isabella
What does a snowman go on to look up the weather
Answer the winternet
~ Olivia
I have a joke for you. My joke is why was 8 scared of 7? The answer is 7 ate nine. (It sounds like 7 8 9 but it’s 7 ate 9. )
~ Aarush
Q:Why are geometry books so cute A:they’re filled with acute angles!From:Catherine
What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?A moo-sician.
_ Aidan
what do you give a sick lemon... lemon aid
what do you call a man with a rubber toe... rubbertoe
Where do bees go for a ride ...the buzzz stop
~ Yara
~ Yara
Q: What did the egg say to the frying pan?
A: You crack me up
Q: What kind of picture do you take with a surfer?
A: A surfie
~ Saharika
~ Saharika
Feb 22, 21
Q: Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
A: Because it was stuffed!
Q: What do you call a pig who does karate?
A: A pork chop!
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing at the concert?
A: Because she was a little horse!
Martin Kramer
A joke for the news
Q: Why do you not let Elsa hold a balloon
A: Because she will "let it go"
Samantha Shuemaker
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because it wasn't cooked.
Anand
What type of blood vessel likes drawing? An Artery
I got my friend a refrigerator for their birthday... I can't wait to see their face light up when they open it.
"Doctor Docter, there is an invisible patient in the waiting room." The doctor says "Tell the patient I can't see him right now."
I forgot what a boomerang does... Oh wait it just came back to me.
From
-Dominic Thorn
1. What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.
2. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
3. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it.
4. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
-Giana Love 5th Grade
How do you greet your shoes? High tops!
Why did the basketball go to the beach? To (bask) in the sun!
Why doesn't it hurt when you get hit with a can of soda? Because it's a soft drink!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Bengardino, Isabella
The jokes I'm sending are for the "corny joke" thing you talked about.
The jokes are;
What is Dr.Seuss's favorite hobby?He sew-s!
Knock knock.Who's there?Doughnut.Doughnut who?Doughnut close the door on my foot!
Knock knock.Who's there?Old lady.Old lady who (Say this quickly so it sounds like yodeling.)?I didn't know you could yodel.
How did the octopus go into the battle? He was well-armed.
Why aren't koalas bears? They don't meet the koalafacations.
A bear walks into a restaurant.He tells his waiter"I want a grilled.....cheese."The waiter asks,"Whats with the pause?"The bear replies,"What do you mean?","I'm a bear!"
EON LEE
Where do pencils go to shop? The sharpening mall
Yaniss
Where does a cow take his date? The Moovies!
Emma Gissing
Hi Mr. Sword,
For joke week I wanted to send you some jokes.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Why did the golfer get two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
What did the ocean say to the shore?
It didn't say anything. It just waved.
Why is the doctor always calm?
Because they have a lot of patients.
Thanks,
Dhatri Bolneni
Who cleans the ocean? The Mer-maid!
Kayla Gleaton
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