2020 begin as normal…we were busy doing life. We had settled into the normalcy of marriage… we weren’t great but weren’t bad either. We were dealing with the stresses of adulting, working, parenting, etc. 

In March, we all know COVID gripped us all and changed life as we knew it. We went from a family with opposite schedules, to a family that was together all the time. We were faced with communication struggles and all the dynamics and emotions that came with living through COVID.  Also during the course of the year our oldest son, and niece moved in with us and we went from a family of 4 living together to a family of 6 living together. This season of life taught us many lessons on parenting, understanding, and forgiveness.  We started with couples therapy to process many of the challenges we were facing. We needed skills that we had not developed and fell back into some negative patterns that were present during our first marriages.  

In October 2020, Tyrone’s mom passed away. This shook our family to the core. Grief shows up in so many ways and there is no way to fully understand how it will effect you. As a wife I had to learn when to give space and grace, and how to support Tyrone through the toughest time of his life.

We decide to have a non- traditional Thanksgiving, since Thanksgiving was a huge holiday for Tyrone’s mom and his family. On the way home from Thanksgiving, the entire family (except our oldest son) came down with COVID. It started off as a few aches, but quickly turned into much more. COVID snatched your breath in a way that made the simplest movements a challenge. I was admitted into the hospital.  After a 3 day stay, on the day I was released Tyrone would be admitted. He was gravely ill and admitted into ICU.

When looking death in the face many of the disagreements that caused silent treatment before seemed frivolous. When I prayed for him to be able to speak, the time lost on the silent treatment seemed priceless. Tyrone spent 21 days in the hospital with no visitors and only short FaceTime calls when he had enough strength to talk or at least listen.

During one call Tyrone told me to find the insurance policy and started talking about making arrangements for his death.  I refused to give up on his healing, and Tyrone was released from the hospital 12/31/22. It would be a long journey back to health. 

On January 9, 2021, Khiandra's father would pass away from COVID.  Again our marriage strained with the challenges of long-term sickness and grief, while managing communication, and blended family struggles. 

Life can change in a blink…don’t sweat the small stuff. Chose your battles , handle conflict swiftly,  and plan to move forward. When you see us smile now it’s not because we have never had challenges, we chose joy and life. 

We have committed to having a successful marriage by investing in our marriage. This has meant learning new skills/tools to be successful. You never know when the day will be your last, so make today count.