There are three stories about who I am. You may choose the one you prefer.
Legend tells of a legendary teacher whose teaching skills were the stuff of LEGEND! He traveled the land in search of worthy students. The teacher often said nothing for he sought wisdom. When he did... he adjusted his black rimmed glasses... and then said, "ENOUGH! LET'S LEARN!" His teaching was so powerful that the enemies of learning would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness. His enemies cry , "MY EYES... HE'S TOO AWESOME!!" and his devoted followers shouted, "AND GEEKY!" The grateful students would ask, "How can we repay you?" He would reply,"There is no charge for awesomeness... or geekiness." It mattered not how many students he taught. They were no match for his bodacious teaching. Never before had a teacher been so feared... and so loved.
OR
When I was a boy...the hills were young and the dirt was fresh. The way to school was uphill both ways and I often had to skip because the road was so rough and I did not want to wear out my shoes quickly. Nothing was easy, but everything gave me the appreciation that I have now for the life I live. I predicted what was to become the Internet at age 2 right after I figured out how to use the flushing toilet. I have often thought that Al Gore ripped me off with his claim of inventing the internet, but who am I kidding. You can find the rest of this fascinating life story in my memoirs. They will be published in the year 2098 on a Tuesday in October.
OR
Long time ago me and my brother Ben here, we was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road. All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon in the middle of the road and he said: "Teach the best science lesson in the world, or I'll eat your soul." Well me and Ben, we looked at each other, and we each said. "Okay." And we taught the first thing that came to our heads, just so happened to be, the Best Science Lesson in the World, it was The Best Science Lesson in the World. Look into my eyes and it's easy to see one and one make two, two and one make three, it was destiny. Once every hundred-thousand years or so, when the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow and the grass doth grow needless to say, the beast was stunned. Whip-crack went his whoopy tail, and the beast was done. He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?" And we said, "Nay! We are but men!" Teach! Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah, Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh! This is not The Greatest Science Lesson in the World, no. This is just a tribute. Couldn't remember The Greatest Science Lesson in the World, no, no. This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Science Lesson in the World, All right! It was The Greatest Science Lesson in the World. All right! It was the best Science Lesson, the greatest Science Lesson in the world. And the peculiar thing is this my friends: The lesson we taught on that fateful night it didn't actually sound anything like this story. This is just a tribute! You gotta believe it! And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.