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Gone are the good old days when we got our electricity from ending the world or making business men run in large wheels. Now two men by the names of Jeff Johnson and John Jefferson have started a new business. This business aims for "clean" energy. You ask me I don't think there is a dang thing clean about slavery. Anyway I have decided that I hate them because I had a rat once in third grade. So I am going to write an article discussing all of the flaws about them and their business. Consider the following as an unbiased article written by a benign and thoughtful author.
To the left is the RAT KING. Jeff and John went into the sewers one day and killed the RAT KING. Nobody knows how they managed it but I personally believe that they used some Triad, Chinese Mafia, Illuminati occult satanic symbolism inverted triangle with sigils inside magic or something. It is clearly too hard to kill with traditional means such as nuclear power or high powered infrared lasers. So this is my first point, they clearly use the dark arts so you have to ask yourself what else they will use their dark and mysterious powers for.
Point two, the rats are clearly sentient and completely self aware. Just look at this weird slave rat. It kind of looks like it's smiling. It is completely analogous to a human because it probably feels emotions. Things don't smile when they are sad. You know dolphins, those guys are always happy. They would never die in captivity because of immense levels of stress due to noise pollution in the water they swim in---of course not. They just chill and die of natural causes. Now these rats are clearly as smart as dolphins such as flipper who died of [redacted]*. I mean just look at him he looks so happy. Now, the question is how could we possibly enslave these creatures. When they eventually and inevitably outsmart us they will bring forth an arbitration of humanity. A day where they decide if we should continue existing or not. A judgement day if you will.
Jeff Johnson (right) and John Jefferson (left) were formerly a footballer and an eccentric dude in a tie respectively. They were both very mean when I met with them so I rang their doorbells over and over again, but that is besides the point. They were very mean and I will not support their company.
-A guy who did NOT commit tax evasion
*Definitely not suicide trust me.
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