In a huge amount of cities in Canada and Russia a man has been running about in the streets. He has been cited doing things like throwing Molotov cocktails into buildings, throwing rocks at people, and rallying the troops (whatever that means). He even tried to assassinate the governor Birmingham Young at one point. His name is Jeffery Raymond Utter but he goes by the alias of Markoth. He has allegedly been responsible for hundreds of riots in the Montreal and Siberia regions. He has been arrested in the U.S and Mexico for petty crimes on multiple occasions.
This mugshot was taken at one of those arrests. It was also featured in one of our news segments here on Cunningham. The man has come into our Montreal office today and we are interviewing him.
(Host) So you are a criminal correct?
(Jeff) Yes, I have done many bad things in my lifetime. I have even killed multiple men. I am trying to start a rebellion in the northern hemispheres.
(Host) What are you rebelling against?
(Jeff) I haven't put much thought into that, i'll get back to you.
(Host) Do you visit our site often?
(Jeff) No, everyone here is scummy swine. They spread real news and it is unbearable. In order to topple society we need more fake news. More false information, more lies! *spittle flies from mouth*
(Host) *Uses very fancy silk handkerchief to wipe up spittle from face* Well ok then see ya later mate.
(Jeff) storms off aggressively