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These five facts discovered in 2019 are absolutely crazy and sure to shatter your world view and make you reconsider all of your choices. Learning about just one of these can drive a person to insanity, so here are the top five mind boggling, unfathomable facts of 2019.
Number 1: The LC 50 of water is approximately six liters. They found this out through a slightly controversial study in which a group of subjects was forced to drink water until half of them died. They all drank water at the same rate and after just six liters half of them had dropped dead onto the laboratory floor. There has been public outcry about the iniquity of the testing. The flinty scientists cared not about the disapprobation of the public. They were just focused on the importance of their work. We acknowledge the sacrifice of the participants, but also accept that sacrifices need to be made on behalf of science.
Number 2: Fortnite made less than 1% of Russia's income this year. Russia was able to extort a whole 542 billion dollars out of the bears who are rich from suing the Americans. The bears who, a hundred years ago brought America to the brink of collapse (also known as the great depression), would be living placid and simple lives if it weren't for the Russians. The Russians have been judicious about who to extort next. The bears are a rich and out of touch faction, they are like the american "BOOMER". Except that they are much larger and they have large teeth and claws.
Number 3: A new saying in Spanish is becoming quite popular, it's roots however are strange. The classic idiom goes "Me pica el bagre" It roughly translates to the catfish is biting me. People say this when they are hungry. The origin of this idiom dates back to medieval times. In spain large catfish would swim around the lakes and suck the blood out of locals. If you recovered from one of these attacks you would be incredibly hungry for a month or so after the bite. People generally have a predilection for catfish. We associate them with cats, but in fact we have to remember the days when catfish would do this kind of thing. I am not telling you to begrudge catfish or anything. Just remember the history before you comment.
Number 4: The trojan horse from the trojan war was all directed by the chubby kid from stranger things. He now hosts a prank show and he let it slip that he was behind the funny prank. He said "I figured I would win the prank war with a seemingly auspicious and generous gift, then the midgets would jump out and slaughter the soldiers. Haha, midgets are very funny." This quote was relating to a question about his extensive use of midgets in his show, and why he used them for so many surprises and villains.
Number 5: CEO of popular shoe maker Palladium has said on air that as well as selling soles, he sells souls. Palladium is famous for their rather, ummm, discernable... pampa boots. He said that in each on of their pampa boots their is actually a soul of a member of a cemetery in france. They went to the cemetery and ghost buster style sucked up all the ghosts. They then infuse the ghosts into the shoes. So if your Palladiums are making an odd squeaking noise it might just be the screams of the damned.
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