Friends and Family
What is it Like to Send a Loved One Abroad?
Your parent(s)/guardian(s)/family members (PGFs) will be affected by your experience in a variety of ways. PGFs usually see the study abroad experience as an opportunity for growth and learning, but they can also have difficulty letting you go into the “unknown.”
PGFs often have concerns about unknowns such as, “is it safe?, Will you have enough money? How am I going to pay for this?”, and “Will you stay healthy?” They hope you will have a good host family relationship and find some good friends. They want you to have the best possible experience in your program and to have all of your food and health needs met. They also realize that communicating with you will not be as easy due to the distance.
During your preparations for departure, PGFs may demonstrate anything from enthusiasm to apathy to anxiety/testing. While you are abroad, it can be hard for PGFs to not be able to. While you are abroad, it can be hard for PGFs to not be able to provide for or spend time with you face-to-face. One parent of a student traveler said that, during her daughter’s time abroad, “I realized the main thing I could do was to pray faithfully and that God was in control. I daily placed her in God’s hands. That’s all I could do.”
As a student traveler, it is important to acknowledge the love/concern your PGFs have for you and that their excitement, questions, and donuts are generally had with your best interests in mind. The following suggestions may help you and your PGFs communicate even better about your study abroad experience:
-Put yourself in the position of your PGFs.
-Talk about your experience with them – keep them updated on your plans, hopes, etc.
-As you research your destination, share what you are learning.
-Show them the manual – point out the “Culture Shock” and “Re-Entry” sections so that, if you exhibit symptoms of culture shock or reverse culture shock, they can understand.
-Be patient if they have anxiety or a lot of questions. Remember: they care for you, they are interested and they want to clear up the “unknowns”.
-Affirm them.
-Let them know how they can help you.
Examine the Following with your family/friends:
Money: What are your budget expectations? What are their budget expectations? How will you handle a financial emergency?
Family: If there is a family trauma (illness, death), will they let you know? How? Under what situations would you return home? How can they support and encourage you?
Emotions: What excites you about going? What makes you nervous? What is it like where you’re going? What is your program like?
Logistics: How will you keep in touch?
Coming Home: How can they support and encourage you as you re-adjust to life in the U.S.? What were the highlights of your experience?
Discuss Communication with Your Family
Make sure you have decided how and how often you plan to contact your family, as well as who will initiate communication. Also, be sure to have read the section on cell phones and other types of communication, and if you decide to use a cell phone overseas, get as much as possible arranged before leaving.
Final Notes:
As you depart for your program, you will be tempted to tell family or friends that you will phone home at a specific time, just after arriving in your host country. Don’t say this! Rarely are students able to follow through with this promise, due to any number of reasons (flight delays, bad phone connections, lack of an international phone line, etc.). Then, when parents do not receive a call right away, they tend to panic. A better idea is to tell your family and friends you will call or email them as soon as it is possible and convenient (which is hopeful within the first few days). You will save your family and friends from considerable panic and worry.
With email, phones, and internet cafes widely available in almost any corner of the world, it may be tempting, while you are abroad, to be in constant communication with family and friends. However, it is important to demonstrate self-control in this area. While it is important and wonderful to keep in contact with family and friends, avoid focusing too much on home rather than your experience. The more you are communicating with home, the less you are interacting with your host culture and friends. Constant emailing and talking on the phone will be a detriment to your overall experience (and hard on your wallet).
Finally, do not underestimate the beauty and value of a hand-written letter. This form of communication causes you to reflect more deeply on your experience. Letters can be as important as journaling – they will be a written history of feelings, sights, smells, sounds, conversations, highlights, and day-to-day activities. Don’t underestimate the value of a letter or postcard!