Effective mentee/mentor relationships are grounded in clear, open communication and trust.  For mentors, this also includes an understanding that expectations and the academic environment shifts and changes and that their mentee's experiences may be different from what they experienced preparing for tenure. For the mentee, being able to express goals and needs is critical.

The following extracted with permission from the UCSF Faculty Mentoring Handbook by Mitchell D. Feldman, MD, MPhil, (2017)

Effective Mentee/Mentor Meetings

A critical component of a successful mentoring relationship is clarity of commitment and expectations. Mentors and mentees should  to agree on:

• Scheduling and logistics of meeting

• Frequency and mode of communicating between meetings

• Responsibility for rescheduling any missed meetings

• Confidentiality

• “Off-limits” conversations

• Giving and receiving feedback

• Working with formalized mentee goals

Structured, regular meetings can help provide clarity and build effective mentee/mentor dynamics.  One suggestion is the “10/20/60 Rule” that will help you to establish a solid partnership and address mentoring goals and everyday issues. For a meeting of about 1½ hours split the time roughly as follows:

First 10 Minutes: Engage in personal/professional “check-in”

Next 20 Minutes: Focus on ‘front burner’ issues (upcoming presentation, manuscript revision, etc.)

Next 60 Minutes: Discuss current and long term goals and priorities; summarize discussion, clarify tasks, schedule follow-up meeting

Cultivating the Relationship: Building Trust

When people trust each other, they allow their most authentic self to emerge. They feel free to share concerns, insecurities and doubts. Listening to each other builds trust. Sharing reservations and uncertainties builds trust. Most importantly, demonstrating by our acts that we are trustworthy builds trust

Behaviors That Build Trust: Behaviors That Destroy Trust:

Being a proactive listener       Not paying attention to what is being said

Cooperating with others Being competitive

Openly sharing and being vulnerable         Withholding and keeping people out

Actions are parallel to words Acting contrary to words

Accepting and non-judgmental Criticizing and disapproving

Authentic and true-to-self     Acting with a hidden agenda

Freely admitting mistakes and errors Blaming others for mistakes

Actively seeking out different perspectives Keeping a closed mind to new ideas

Encouraging others to succeed Discouraging others from taking risks

Having a positive, upbeat outlook Projecting a negative perspective

Honoring and respecting confidentiality  Breaking confidence

Giving (and Receiving) Feedback

Mentees want to receive honest, candid feedback from their mentor. Equally important is the feedback mentees can offer to mentors. Engaging in reciprocal and on-going feedback is a vital component of the partnership.

Effective feedback:

Is offered in a timely manner

 Focuses on specific behaviors

Acknowledges outside factors that may contribute Emphasizes actions, solutions or strategies

Effective Feedback from Mentee:

Whether the advice or guidance you offered was beneficial and solved an issue

Whether the mentor communication style and/or actions facilitate a positive mentoring experience

Whether the mentor communication style and/or actions create challenges to a positive mentoring experience

Effective Feedback to Mentee:

Mentee strengths and assets

Areas for growth, development and enhancement Harmful behaviors or attitudes

Observations on how your mentee may be perceived by others

See also: Tools for inclusive communication 

Additional resources: 

Giving and getting career advice: Giving and Getting Advice.pdf

American Heart Association Mentoring Handbook

http://my.americanheart.org/idc/groups/ahamah- public/@wcm/@sop/documents/downloadable/ucm_319794.pdf 

Association for Women in Science

http://www.awis.affiniscape.com/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=37

MedEd Mentoring http://www.mededmentoring.org/default.asp

MentorNet http://www.mentornet.net/

Woman to Woman Mentoring Program http://www.w2wmentoring.org/

The American Physiological Society http://www.the-aps.org/mm/Career/Mentor/Mentoring-and-Being-Mentored

The Mentor Directory http://www.peer.ca/mentor.html

Virtual Mentor, American Medical Association Journal of Ethics http://virtualmentor.ama-assn.org/

https://apo.ucla.edu/faculty-career-development/mentoring-resources-council-of-advisors

https://nap.nationalacademies.org/resource/25568/interactive/index.html

https://www.nationalacademies.org/our-work/the-science-of-effective-mentoring-in-stemm

https://med.nyu.edu/for-faculty/sites/default/files/faculty-mentoring-handbook.pdf