So this week, I was informed that in the mix of the 5th grade teachers, I am "The Mean One." While some might hear that and wear it as a badge of honor (which has always felt weird to me), it stings a little. Before anything else, I am a human, and I don't love the idea that people may think I'm anything other than delightful.
But as a human, I also know who I want this planet to be inhabited with.
I want everyone to be surround with respect. Understanding. Patience. Compassion. KINDNESS.
I don't think I have unreasonably high expectations. Without exception, I hold myself to the same standard I hold for those around me. And when I inevitably mess up, I apologize and do what I can to make it right again (I'm masterful at apologizing...it's nothing to be proud of though...it's only because I've had lots and lots and LOTS of practice...). I speak to your 5th grader the way I would want anyone else to speak to me. I require respect not because "I'm the adult and the teacher," but because that's exactly what I give to your child as a fellow human. So when disrespect is so carelessly tossed around, by anyone, it rubs me the wrong way. Hard.
This teaching thing really is a great gig...I get to see the unfiltered goodness of people expressed through the innocence of those newer to the human experience on a daily basis. And so, when I know they can do better, I can't help but remind them of that. As someone who is no stranger to falling short of others' expectations, I know it feels rotten when you are called out for not-so-adorable behavior. The impulse is anger, and (for me at least) a tear or 2. But I've also found those are the times I grow the most. Shame I can't just know it and not do the offensive thing to begin with...but some are born with a looser cannon than others and get to spend longer than anyone would like learning to hold fire. I love your children, and my hope for them is that they learn the easy way that it feels far better to do and say the right thing first, instead of hoping that your apology and effort to change is good enough to make amends.
Anyway, while I'm not in love with being known as "mean," I'm hoping that's one of those knee-jerk reactions that tempers over time and with some understanding. And if not, well, there's something to learn from that too. My delivery could very well be off for some. Nothing is "one size fits all," my delivery is most certainly too small for some, and too large for others. But it is always given with love, sincerity, and appreciation for who we all are and the gifts we have to bring to this world.
Have a great week!