MORT KOPLO UNVEILING CEREMONY
by Stephen J. Koplo
February 9, 2020
The practice of placing a monument over a grave, or a “matzevah” in Hebrew, is very old in the Jewish or Hebrew tradition. The first mention of this is in the Book of Genesis Chapter 5, when Jacob erected a tombstone over the grave of his wife Rachel.
The Torah states, and I quote the English translation:
“And Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath which is in Bethlehem, and Jacob erected a tombstone on Rachel’s grave.” (Genesis 5:19-20) The practice has continued since biblical times.
The ceremony we know as an “Unveiling,” however, is a more recent practice with no particular origin in pre-modern Judaism. It usually functions to prolong the mourning period for the deceased, and to again acknowledge the loss of a friend or family member. This really has no religious basis in traditional Judaism, which in contrast expects people to resume their normal life after a mourning period - generally set as the end of Shiva.
In a tradition which does not believe in spiritual enlightenment, transcendence or transmigration of the soul, an Unveiling is an opportunity to visit the grave where it is believed the deceased still resides, albeit in a slightly worse condition than they were in before. But for those who do believe in some form of “life after death,” it’s an opportunity to wish the deceased well in his/her new iteration, whether that be in a spiritual or some other material form. Of course, these believers already consider that the deceased is long gone from this particular geographic location, probably having a lot more fun than they are. So for them coming to an Unveiling is somewhat of an oxymoron. I confess that I myself am indeed in this category.
By far the vast majority of people on earth, both throughout its long past as well as in the present, do believe in some form of life after death. Most have reality that one is a spiritual being, not simply a physical body, and that the two are not mutually inclusive.
The universal belief is that they can and do separate at some point either at body death or prior to, and that this State will certainly be achieved at death or before.
Buddhists have long sought this State in this lifetime and have a firm belief in the being’s ability to function apart from the physical body. Scientologists achieve this State every day and prepare themselves for it permanently prior to the death of the body. Hindus believe that if one lives a good life, and has generated or created good Karma, then they will return in a higher state in the next lifetime – sort of like upward mobility. There is a similar belief in Kabballistic Judaism where one is reincarnated again and again until one fulfills 613 Mitzvot. If he doesn’t succeed in fulfilling the 613 Mitvot in this lifetime he comes back again and again until he finishes. Actually, this “revolving” of souls, known as “gilgulim” is an integral part of ancient Jewish belief, although virtually unknown by most American Jews today.
Most American Jews simply believe in something having to do with rectification of the soul – a sort of vague purification process that vacuums all their sins away when they go up to heaven – wherever that may be.
Rabbis have argued about all of these things for thousands of years, as Rabbis are wont to do. They will likely continue to argue about them for thousands of years to come. However, each of us individually must decide for ourselves what we are working towards and where we will end up; and how we intend to achieve it.
In Christian America, it is more believed that upward mobility should be achieved in this lifetime, as one will not get another chance. Or, it may just be that by only acknowledging a single lifetime can all one’s behavior this lifetime be fully justified. If you don’t have to worry about the next lifetime, well, it’s no holds barred in this one. Let’s just have some fun!
Truthfully, most modern American Jews rarely think about these things. Enmeshed in a Christian culture, they tend to take the beliefs prevalent amongst their goyish neighbors. My dad was one of these, and thus explains his decision to live as long as he did. He didn’t believe in an afterlife or any of these ideas of reincarnation or returning. But he knew intuitively that it made more sense to be kind, to help others and in general to create good Karma as you never really know what will happen in the future. “Better to hedge your bets!” He did in fact tell me this when I conversed with him about these very subjects.
But we are here for the unveiling of a headstone, not a Socratic soliloquy from a pseudo-talmudic Scientologist.
Morton J Koplo was far from a Socratic individual. He was not much of a Philosopher. But he also didn’t have to be. He had Evelyn, and the two had a great life together. So it’s fitting that in unveiling his headstone we find carved into the same piece of rock the memorium to her as well. Indeed they made a very good team. It’s entirely appropriate for them to share this piece of rock.
Some would say that now at last they are together again. And, of course, their bodies – or what’s left of them – are indeed buried right next door to each other. However, as each lays within an oak box which itself is locked within a concrete case, there is not much chance of any corporeal contact between them. But it was their postulate to have this final physical proximity upon leaving their bodies. So whether they’ve vaporized up to some ethereal dwelling called “heaven” or have exteriorized and found new bodies to inhabit is left to us to speculate. Either way, or whatever form or shape these two Beings now take is what they’ve done. And nothing we think, say or do can change that.
And so it is up to us to carry forward and make of life what we will, and be grateful for the opportunity given to us to know, to learn from and to love these two individuals. And as for Mort, well, I want to share with you a poem which resembles his philosophy greatly, and which, I hope, will bring some Joy to overcome any sense of loss that such ceremonies tend to bestow. It’s called “The Joy of Creating.”
“Force yourself to smile and you’ll soon stop frowning.
Force yourself to laugh and you’ll soon find something to laugh about.
Wax enthusiastic and you’ll very soon feel so.
A being causes his own feelings.
The greatest joy there is in life is creating.
Splurge on it!”
Although that was written by L Ron Hubbard, an American Philosopher, Poet and Author, I feel it describes my dad perfectly. He was always splurging on life – be it cleaning his fishtank, playing tennis or planting his plants. He enjoyed himself, and he enjoyed his time as himself while he had it. I only hope we all can do the same.
The traditional American Jewish Unveiling includes a reading of the 23rd Psalm, the Mourner’s Prayer and the Mourner’s Kaddish. As I read through these texts I realized that these particular texts do not really fit my father at all in his beliefs or philosophy, nor would he even understand these esoteric things. However, he would want to “hedge his bets” and so I will have them read or sung. I apologize in advance if the versions I have chosen do not fit a particular sect or preference. They are chosen based strictly on their aesthetic value, not for their religious, value.
(PLAY RECORDINGS)
23rd Psalm - Sir Lawrence Olivier
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLynWedr1_g
Mourner's Prayer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wth4VQLToc
Mourner's Kaddish