Stranger Occurrences of the canine chronicle 

Patter Washing shown in his natural Habitat ready to tourture the students until they finally understand true humor! " You underestimate my power!" Patter Washing said Photo by M. JAIME 

Originally published June 6, 2025

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

  In the cold, barren, brick prison known as MBMS, chaos has unleashed as Patter Washing struck again! 

   His evil schemes to forcefully bring back old humor planning to become the biggest stand up comedy star in the world! 

   "My plan will be carried out! The kids these days don't understand real humor," Journalism Adviser and Vis-com teacher Patter Washing said,"Soon you all will be laughing at Odd Alvin and sketches like Arial! You'll see all I need is three journalism students to do my bidding!" 

   His first victim was none other than Lawfee, the editor in chief and musical prodigy! " I had no idea he could be so wicked! Being in that room should be illegal! " Eighth-grader Lawfee stated, describing the horrors, " He forced me to watch all the SNL sketches he could in the span of forty-five minutes! All whilst listening to horrible things like nugget rush. It was like my soul was dying slowly with each note about the sixth-graders running to lunch!"  

  As Washing prepares to strike again, his evil side kick, Kai the tooth fairy from a scrapped SNL sketch who bombards people with her whimsy and quirky snacks and skill of creating mass discomfort but also inability to stop laughing. "Kai is just Kai! I’ve never met someone who just dabs on the haters just to get the trend back. Most of the time she concerns me…but I let her do whatever, "Editor Mitch Horchata said,"But the biggest thing that scares me about her are the noises she makes! She makes noises that I never knew humans can make. Like who knew we can sound like a dying fish and an exploding volcano at the same time!" 

    The finisher move that can take down most are not only her snacks but the daily brainwashing including singing happy birthday to one of the poor editors, Sara Wu “ Sarah’s eternal birthday actually gives me the wondering question… how old is Sarah now? But yeah, I’m flabbergasted.”   The graphics editor Jay Ugg said. 

   In a desperate need of saving, The Canine Chronicle members turn to the only ones who can help them now... THE EDITORS! Even with the only ones left unaffected being Mitch Horchata and his magical matcha, Sara Wu and her confusing birthday issue  and Jay Ugg with their drawings that come to life the issues would be solved in no time! "He needs to be stopped! Someone, anybody, just end it! It’s his torture device on us. I can’t unsee Mr. Crater and Dwayne "The Pebble" Johansson fused into one person. People don’t know what we deal with. " Horchata said. 

    Patter Washing lurks in the shadows of his bright cyan classroom watching his next target.. The prized editor Sara Wu!! “ I just always felt like I wasn’t alone,” Wu stated, “it’s bad enough it’s constantly my birthday I don’t need to be paranoid  like that one song by Tyrone, the Destroyer!”  

    As Washing stepped into the bright, fluorescent light Jay Ugg was ready with their menacing drawings that come to life! “So basically I just draw critters that magically appear out of the sketch boom and they fly everywhere causing chaos and fear.” Ugg said. 

   Dodging the critters, Warring makes a move with his Tunes headphones in hand to force Sara into the “Correct Humor”  what he thought was his accomplice hops in front of him “protecting” Sara! “ Sara, Sara, Sara…. I plan to take her to the right side. Sara will have chicken legs as legs and a rainbow goatee. I will give her a bob that will drift just below her eyes. Sharp teeth and long nose hair sounds just perfect!”  Kai said whilst running off with Sara. 

  Left defenseless it’s up to Horchata and his magical matcha to save the day! After almost completely drowning Washing in the frothy green mess, He gets thrown back into his storage closet with only a water bottle and a Priceco rotisserie chicken where he belongs never to be seen again!