Pets Allergic to Owners?

                                                                                                                                                                                                        PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY I. BEVERLY VIA CANVA

Originally published June 6, 2024

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

   With spring here, many people have allergies to pollen, but you might not know your pets have allergies. But the allergies aren't to pollen or flowers, they’re to you.

    Some common things your pets may be allergic to are being while napping, getting dressed up, and getting baby talked to. This is only a few of the many sensitives your pet has. “Dogs, cats, hamsters, and birds suffer from these allergic reactions the most out of all animals.” Allergists, Dr. Bertram, said. “It’s so unfortunate they have to go through this.” 

    The top cause for allergic reactions is baby talk. This really gets pets going with sneezing, coughing, and stuffy noses. It even causes nauseating headaches from the irritating, grating voice. “Woof, woof ruff bark, woof yip ARF ruff bark. Yip ARF bark, AWOOOO, ruff.” said Skittles, a 30-year-old bulldog with an afro.

    Science teacher, Mrs. Fizzle, noticed that her pet hamster had overwhelming reactions when she woke up her hamster out of its beauty sleep. She proceeded to also baby talk to the hamster, which caused her hamster to be hospitalized. “I can't imagine what could have triggered these reactions for my baby, Lulu, I am the perfect pet mom. I have only bothered her 12 times today.” Mrs. Fizzle said.

     Another top cause for your pet's allergies is being dressed up in those mini clothes. While pet owners find them adorable, many pets feel strangled, confused, and confined in them. “Meow meow meow. Hiss yowl purr meow hiss. Mew mew purr yowl hiss meow.” Romeo Caterson said. 

    Pet owners have noticed these allergies and feel bad for their pets but know they can not control them. Some have tried to figure out cures or ways to prevent it, but it is incurable. “I have taken my feline to the allergist over 56 times and there is simply no cure available. I feel terrible for Mr. Meow Meow the third, but these allergic reactions persist.” Seventh-grader, Justin Time, said. 

   If you are severely concerned for your pet, try to stop doing these habits that trigger allergies. Even if you think it won't cause reactions, it will. So if you want to dress your pet up, resist the urge. “Tweet chirp tweet, chirp chirp chirp. Twitter twitter twitter, chirpy chirpy.” Blue, the finch said.