King and Emmons Compete for the Winning Prize At a Ballet Competition

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY M. DAVIDSON VIA MAGIC MEDIA

Originally published June 6, 2024

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

   At MBMS, there has been some serious competition between Mr. King and Mr. Emmons. It has been so serious that they decided to hold a ballet competition in the gym to determine who has better choreography. 

   The event was viewed by the entire school at an assembly, and the winner received a special prize, which was a demonic magenta snail with a bright, pink, sparkly tutu. It also ended with a tie between the two since their moves were too special to compare. Their choreographer, Addy Bee Thriller, spoke on how the process went.

   “Mr. King and Mr. Emmons were very fun to choreograph. Mr. Emmons inspired a lot of his choreography from Maddye on Dance Dads, like how he used the English switch leap. Mr. King, however, took inspiration from Khloe, often performing multiple pirouettes sequentially, just like her,” she said.

   Dance teacher (and critic), Mrs. Hiphop, explained how she felt about the dance.

   “I could have done much better myself honestly. Ballet is for losers, something that would have made it more superior would be some calming hip hop music.”

    Anonymous student influencer, Very_Entitled_Person30@auburnsd.org, explained their opinion on the matter.

   “I was not a fan. The singing competition did not sit well with me. They didn’t even sing! All they did was some strange dance with music that had no lyrics?? Also, there wasn’t even a winner. What competition has a tie?? Yelp will be hearing about this sooner or later.”

Mr. Emmons and Mr. King gear up before their big competition. Mr Emmons dolled up in accessories and Mr. King went simple with his outfit until right before the show. PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS COURTESY OF M. DAVIDSON AND C. RECTOR VIA CANVA, MAGIC MEDIA, FACESWAPIT, AND MENSHEALTH.COM

    A sixth-grade parent, Jimothée Thalomet, shows and describes how ecstatic he felt at the competition.

   "This was the greatest competition of my life. I had just enough time to arrive there after getting three foot tattoos and an eyebrow tattoo. I drove my monster truck straight through the gym and was allowed to cheer for Mr. King, my bestie, the whole. entire. time."

   Another viewer of the dance, Adrianna Grand, explained her point of view on matters concerning the show (and the monster truck).  

   “I think that the performance WOULD have been amazing if I could hear it. This MONSTROSITY of a monster truck comes rolling into the gym RIGHT BESIDE where I was trying to watch the show and NOBODY did anything to stop it! It blasted through the wall and parked right in the hole it made. This was SUPER inconvenient. Would NOT recommend it next time,” Grand said.

   Finally, a spectator of the event, and also a past student of Addy Bee Thriller, Yoyo Seewa, described the extreme emotions that she felt as she viewed the performance.

   “It was horrid. I felt sick as I watched the performance begin, but there was also something slightly beautiful about it. As I watched Mr. Emmons compete his special move, something shifted inside of me and I felt happiness that I’d never felt before,” Seewa explained. 

   She continued on the touching matter.

    “Eventually, I started tearing up from the beautiful, alluring, irresistible, delightful, stunning, ravishing, spunky, attractive, smashing, magnificent, good-looking, engaging, heavenly, lovely, elegant, enchanting, glamorous, glowing, gorgeous, artistic, and graceful performance," Seewa said. "This production completely turned my life around, in its sickening but also moving mannerisms.”