PHOTO COURTESY OF VIA ISTOCK

Originally published June 6, 2024

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

   In early March, when the new intercom was installed, people began experiencing strange sensations and feeling like they didn't have control of their bodies.

   After more than a month, when the intercom was finally fixed, people who heard the sound or noise from the intercom started to behave oddly. They would zone out, become motionless, wander into the halls, or even act irrationally in class.

  "I felt like I didn’t have control over my body, ever since I heard the new intercom," said sixth-grader George La’Mewing. "My friends and I began to feel the hypnotizing effect of the intercom getting stronger and stronger."

  Teachers and staff members also felt the intercom was affecting their minds. Even if they weren’t affected, their students would be.

  "I didn’t feel the intercom affecting me once it was replaced," said social studies teacher Miss Silva. "After a few weeks, I did begin to space out and become motionless. But it wasn’t just me. My entire class, including myself, got hypnotized for the entire period. We didn’t take any notes. We were all sitting there, motionless."

  This hypnosis affected the entire school. But, some students don’t seem to be hypnotized. Those who weren't affected by the intercom have been asked to go into classrooms and snap them out of the hypnosis. But this is only a small percentage of students who aren’t affected by the intercom. Eighth-grader Billy Bob was one of the few students who didn’t get hypnotized.

  “The principal had recruited us to help with disturbed classes,” Bob said. “I have to shake people, in order to unhypnotize them. I had a class that was all hypnotized, even the teacher seemed to be motionless.”

  The hypnosis coming from the intercom seemed very strange. Many people were becoming suspicious of how it was hypnotizing teachers and staff. But more importantly, why?

  “My students thought they intentionally hypnotized us,” math teacher Mr. Chunges said. “I told them, why would they do that? They said some crazy conspiracy theories. I didn’t know why it was happening. But I knew that it wasn’t on purpose. I just knew that they would somehow fix it.”

  Many rumors spread like a wildfire. Office staff were overwhelmed by all the questions coming from students and teachers. Principal Tan called in electricians, system engineers, etc. But then he turned to a hypnotist.

 “The hypnotist told me that it sent strange signals into the brain. Causing them to act differently depending on how it was transferred,” Tan said. “He told me other things but I had no clue what it meant. I’m just glad that he was able to fix the intercom. Now things are back to normal.”