PHOTO COURTESY OF M. GUZMAN

Originally published May 6, 2022

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents.

As you may know, a lot of people get allergies but this one has to be the worst in history. I’m talking about the ALLERGY'S disease that is involved in delta delta sci five π COVID. Which was named after a sorority in California which is very concerning. There are many side effects such as severe sniffling, coughing, wheezing, and the worst effect is a horsehead.

This is impacting everything around the world again as if it is COVID. Stores are being sold out of supplies, people’s homes are being destroyed, breaking up friendships, and even more worse actions.

“Well, Daniel [Jesus’s older brother] has been knocking down a lot of furniture around our house by kicking it,” sixth-grader Jesus Ibarra-Castro said, “Sometimes when we go to the store he starts eating the apples but it is really hard to stop him.”

Stores barely have any home supplies since families are taking everything. It’s either because family members go the disease or just because they want to be ready just in case a horse apocalypse occurs. But, overall this is making people's life really hard right now with money and especially food.

“I have stocked up on not only toilet paper but horse feed, just in case my family is infected,” Ms. Lacy said.

The Allergies disease is causing everyone to go crazy and start destroying furniture. This means people have to be stronger than a horse to be able to take care of all the problems it causes. If the horse runs out of apples the problem gets huge. When I say huge I mean like having a horse in your house, just imagine that.

“We’ve been trying to lock her [Alonzo’s sister] into her room or else she’ll go into the pantry and eat all the food,” eight-grader Alonzo Sanchez said, “She's really aggressive and it’s difficult to stop her since we will get hurt.”

Lately, there have been multiple Allergies cases at school. Many students are disturbing classes by chewing apples really loud and it makes teachers get angry. They even got in the news for protesting about horses. This pandemic is getting worse every minute of the day and many students are getting in really bad trouble because of it. Even when it is not their fault but the diseases.

“I heard that Jordan Stubblefield got infected and he’s been going crazy lately,” seventh-grader Samantha Montgomery said, “Like running around the school and the police guards had to ride the little wheelie cart to chase him, but he was too fast for them.

Remember to stay safe as possible. Wear five times the mask you usually wear like Castro to not get infected. Stay friends with the people that got infected but don’t get frustrated or annoyed because you don’t understand them. Unfortunately, there isn’t an end to this so far but keep watching the news from scientists every single minute you can.

“When they knock the door over, then you block it up with something and not let them out, ” Sanchez said.

“I just want everyone to be safe, trust science and you know make sure that they aren’t going crazy clearing out the stores of toilet paper and apples,” Ms. Lacy said.