PHOTO BY K. ELIASON VIA UNSPLASH.COM VIA CREATIVE COMMONS LICENSE

Originally published June 6, 2024

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

   A new school is coming to the district, and is planned to appear next year. There will be students teaching the teachers, and will be built as all schools should be: upside down. 

   The new school will be called Students Teaching Teachers While Upside Down School, or STTWUPS. The district lines will be set later this summer, and many teachers and students are excited or nervous about potentially going to the school.

   Eighth-grader Knewton Scholar will be teaching the Slaying 101 class.

   “I can’t wait to teach slang,” Scholar said. “I think I am going to be a great teacher.”

   Famed actor Josh Logcabinshersdaughter will be the principal of STTWUPS.

   “This is going to help teachers know everything that students know,” Logcabinhersdaughter said. “And the students can experience the ways of teachers.”

   Some students have been wondering why the school will be built upside down.

   “This seems like a great idea that I would endorse, but I will be wondering about the benefits of upside-down school,” seventh-grader Tammy Teacher.

   Experts believe that upside down schools help learning, and turning off gravity ensures focus.

   “Upside down schools will cover the world within a few short years,” iknoweverything.com said. “Gravity is not necessary in places of work and of learning.”

   Sixth-grade Lee Arning will be teaching the very important subject of Girl Math. 

   “Teachers really have no idea how girl math works, which is absolutely a tragedy,” Arning said. “I intend to ensure that they can buy something and know the true price.”

   Some of the staff are skeptical about this new school, and intend to make sure they do not go to STTWUPS.

   “Students are going to make us stupider!” current sixth-grade math teacher Mrs. Potato said. “I will fight to stay here, and not go to that death trap of a school. I mean, come on, people can’t really think this will work can they?”

   Potato disappeared two days later. This new school has been supported by the president as well. 

   “This is a brilliant endeavor that will benefit every person all over the world,” representative Gov Ernment said. “I experienced a little bit of what the school would be like when I was taught by my 5-year-old daughter, and I learned so much from her!”

   Although some teachers disagree, other teachers support it entirely.

   “This is a brilliant idea and I can’t wait to implement this,” eighth-grade teacher Mr. Carrot said. “Students will be great teachers, I am sure of it.”

   This school will open on December 1, and students have begun applying for jobs.

   “I am so excited,” Scholar said. “Teachers had better be ready for the best school they have ever seen!”