COURTESY OF WALLPAPERFLARE.COM VIA CREATIVE COMMONS LICENSE

Originally published May 6, 2022

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents.

The furry red monster of so many people’s childhood is now at the epicenter of a new virus. The so-called “Elom Syndrome” has slowly begun to take over MBMS, and several cases have been reported at Rainier Middle School.

Elom is a furry red puppet that sings and “teaches” kids in a short television segment titled “Elom’s World”. Recently, he has found a way to infect students’ brains with his high-pitched voice and cute (but evil) laugh.

Those who were first infected all had younger siblings and were subjected to many hours of the show. Eighth-grader Abadon Elrod was among those who were first infected.

“I don’t do impressions of Elom,” Elrod said. “Elom does impressions of me. And he isn’t even good at it.”

Other side effects can include thinking Elom is now our Supreme Overlord. There has not been much research as to how this disease is spread. However, it is thought that this is spread through overexposure to the show or to those already infected.

“My Overlord, he does not like to be called a child or a puppet,” seventh-grader Sarah Nali said. “He is most powerful and certainly deserves his due respect for entertaining millions.”

Those with the so-called “Overlord variant” have been known to become disobedient and sometimes dangerous. Acts of arson are very rare, but Elom sometimes orders a person to do so.

This new behavior in teens is causing some parents to question whether or not television shows like this are healthy. The cult-like behavior exhibited may show that these shows are dangerous.

“I no longer allow any of my kits to watch all of this television stuff,” a very grown-up Peter Bunny said. “I can only imagine the things it can do to one’s brain.”

While “Elom’s World” has now been canceled, there remains the fear that other shows could soon develop similar diseases.

“There are so many shows similar to ‘Elom’s World’ and I am worried about competition for our Supreme Overlord,” Nali said. “Kaillou could totally try to take over eventually.”

Sir Supreme Overlord Elom was unable to be reached for comment at this time.

Authorities would like it to be known that they are on the lookout for Elom. There is a reward of $1 for the finder.

“[Elom] is a small, furry, and red puppet. He is aged three and a half years, but has been around since 1998,” Police Officer Burt Norberto said. “I sure hope that we can stop him soon. I don’t think the world can survive this if it were to spread.”

Clearly, this is a serious issue. As the terrible Elom Syndrome continues to spread, there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon. Elrod recovered after a few months.

“Looking back, it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced,” Elrod stated “I was a complete idiot all the time, and that hurts.”

-- Click HERE to have Sir Supreme Overlord Elom read you the article.