COURTESY OF SHUTTERSTOCK VIA COMMENS LICENCE

Originally published June 6, 2025

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

   MBMS teachers concern students with their strange, unusual hobbies in and outside of school. These side quests include editing menus at restaurants with a red pen, writing math based rap songs, training spiders to make mini science experiments, and even a gossip account about faculty.

    “I feel like I just don’t have enough to correct at school,” sixth-grade honors ELA teacher Mrs. McGraw said. “I go to a restaurant and correct it with my signature red pen, put a score, and give it back to the waiter.”

   One hobby that students think is cringey is seventh-grade math teacher Ms. Milang’s math based rap songs. She writes and sings these songs on her own and plays it for her classes to help them with their assignments. 

   “She says she gets up at 2 a.m. and writes these so-called rap songs about math,” seventh-grader Spongebob Trianglepants said. “Ms. Millang said her favorite lyric is ‘Math is fun, so let's learn about adding and subtracting, dividing and multiplying… yeah!’, and that is the class’s least favorite.”

   Every once in a while students have found spiders around the school, and are required to bring them to sixth-grade science teacher, Mr. Peña. These spiders are trained to do science experiments , which have caused multiple fires and made the fire department involved. 

   “I actually enjoy training these spiders to conduct mini science experiments,” Mr. Peña said. “I don’t even see the big deal about it. I mean it only caused ten fires this month, and they aren’t even that big!”

   One of the most loved side quests by students is the secret gossip account about faculty, which isn’t a big secret to MBMS. This account is handled by journalism teacher, Mr. Warring, and updates the tea daily. 

   “I always listen to the drama that students are sharing about their teachers when I’m walking around the halls, and immediately hit post on the account,” Mr. Warring said. “Sometimes I also eat lunch with others in the staff room, and listen there too. I’m actually becoming pretty popular around the school, and I always have students come in my room during lunch to spill the beans.”

   Ms. Millang spoke her mind about other teacher’s bonus tasks, and stated her opinion on how her rap songs are the best. She said her classes love her songs and listen to them out of school. 

   “Oh yeah, everyone loves my rapping. Especially about adding and subtracting, as well as dividing and multiplying,” Ms. Millang said. “My hobby is definitely on top. No one else can come up with lyrics and sing as well as me, and I always wake up in the morning and am on the grind.”