Mark Indigo looks at the camera in shock after he go caught. PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY S. CORPUZ

Originally published June 6, 2025

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

   When celebrity Chapstick Roan came to perform her viral songs “Good Luck Bro” and “Purple Penguin Club,” no one expected what outbreak would start. Last week at MBMS, a strange new disease broke out and sent the entire school into a panic. Almost every single teacher and student has been out of school due to this disease. What can we do about it and where did it even come from?

   “I have no idea what happened; we were just watching the performance in the gym and boom! Chapstick Roan transformed into a ballerina with a cup for head!” Seventh-grade ELA teacher Ms. Promax said. “No one knew what was happening and we still don’t!”

   This new outbreak started with celebrity Chapstick Roan and has been slowly spreading throughout the school and everyone is in a panic. Teachers and students are all stuck at home or in the nurse’s office without any cure being found. Thankfully, a brave eighth grade student stepped up to investigate this case and find a cure.
    “I wanted to figure out what was happening with this disease since some of my friends and teachers have been infected.” Eighth-grader Zoe Anteater said. “If we can find a cure, we can put an end to this and have everything go back to normal for the end of the school year!”

   Anteater’s goal is to find out what or who started this and to find a cure quickly. The first thing she decides to investigate is where it might’ve come from. The investigation started with celebrity Chapstick Roan, who won’t stop repeating the same phrase over and over again.

   “Chapstick Roan has been repeating the same words over and over again.” Seventh-grader Avenue Cone said. “I’m trying to help the Nurses deal with all the infected teachers and students but it’s really freaky how she keeps repeating something about ballerinas and a cappuccino drink all the time.”

   Anteater continues her investigation with the few students and teachers who still aren’t infected. Only about a fourth of the school is uninfected and there’s no progress on a cure or finding out where or why it started.
  “I’ve seen friends of mine who got infected and they’re nothing like they usually act.” Sixth-grader Sofa Couch said. “I tried checking in on them briefly to see if they would return to normal, but nothing I tried worked!”

   “There are very few teachers left uninfected and it’s getting difficult to get students under control.” Eighth-grade science teacher Mr. Bobbybillybobby said. “Something suspicious I found though was that an eighth-grade student of mine is missing and he hasn't been marked as infected by the school yet. His name is Mark Indigo.”
    With a new lead to follow, Anteater begins to investigate where Indigo might be. Half of the school is shut down due to the disease, but Anteater is determined to find out what is happening with the disease and Indigo. Nobody expected what Anteater would’ve found out though.

   “I found Indigo in one of the closed hallways of the school. He was communicating with the people who were infected and using the same phrases as them.” Anteater said. “I couldn’t understand a thing he was saying, but it looked like the infected people were listening to him.”

Without another second to waste, Anteater jumps out from her hiding spot and stops Indigo in his tracks. She takes him in for questioning and leads the other infected students back to the infirmary while the other teachers and students leave for the day.

   “After questioning him, I got all the information I needed.” Anteater said. “He was the one who started it! It started with him repeating the phrases all the infected students and teachers said and explaining what Italian brainrot is!”

   With the case now cracked, Anteater and the remaining teachers and students start to work on the cure while Indigo gets lunch detentions for the rest of the year. The progress on the cure is slow, but everyone is hopeful that everything will return back to normal for the final day of school. With Indigo on the loose again, though, who can say whar happens next year?