long-haired Girl reunites with parents

COURTESY OF PHOTOFUNIA.COM

Originally published May 6, 2022

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents.

After being held hostage for 18 years, eighth-grader Lea Prunz reunited with loved ones she hadn't seen since her abduction. Prunz escaped her 333-foot, inaccessible tower on April 32 at 27:30 p.m.

“I was always told that the lady I was living with for 18 whole years was my mother,” Prunz said. “I never thought any different until a week ago.”

Prunz’s supposed “mother” has chosen to stay anonymous and was not available for further comments. However, her parents have brought to our attention that she was kidnapped for her so-called, “special powers”.

“Ever since Lea was born, she has had gorgeous, long, blonde hair that glowed,” Prunz’s mom, Dory Maneo said. “We didn’t think much of it until people in the village became vigorously jealous.”

On November 4, a young man running from the police happened to discover that Prunz was locked up one day and ended up saving her life.

“As I was looking for food, I stumbled upon a very large stone tower,” 10-year-old Denny Flirr said. “I decided to check it out and encountered a girl who smacked me with a pan.”

Maneo and her husband, Dwayne List would release glowing lanterns into the sky every year on their daughter's birthday.

“We released the lanterns mostly to raise awareness in the village,” Maneo said. “But there was part of me hoping that Lea would see the lights and find a way back home.”

Prunz arrived safely back home to her shocked parents and worried town.

“Lea and her family are very well known throughout our town,” an anonymous member of MBMS said. “We were all so excited and surprised to see that she had returned.”

“I always had a dream to see the lights, but my 'mother' told me it wasn’t safe,” Prunz said. “Of course, I believed her because she always told me that ‘mother knows best.’”