Studies show: students who consume ai's brain rewire to become ai

PHOTO BY S. JOHNSON VIA UNSPLASH.COM

Originally published June 6, 2024

WARNING: The contents of The Canine Comical are purely fictional and intended to be humorous, satirical. Readers are advised not to confuse them with real incidents. 

   Artificial Intelligence, or A.I., has been a big issue in schools. However, scientists recently discovered a new disease involving the brain that only pops up in the brains of students who use AI for school work. this disease is called Artificialitis.

   "It's getting bad," Math Teacher Mr. Think said, "I didn't know my students used AI for their work, but my best student got a horrible case of Artificialitis!"

   AI is highly discouraged to use for schoolwork, since school is about learning. Instead, a vast majority of students here at school use it despite the newly found risks.

   "Hello, how may I help you?" infected eighth-grader Ayai Youser said.

   Youser was exposed to Artificialitis after using AI and outside resources to answer all her math homework, which had her at the top of her class. Unfortunately, her AI usage backfired on her greatly, as her brain has become 90% computer parts pushing out automated questions and responses.

   "80% of students in the U.S. have atleast a minor case of Artificialitis, as they just can't learn." outsideresourceusage.com said, "They turn to immediate responses, causing them to get directly infected from the AI."

   Artificialitis begins as soon as a student types in a homework or test question for an answer, and spreads the more they use outside resources. Tiny bits of their brain then start to become computer pieces, until they can no longer willingly function how they'd like and just talk with automated lines.

   "I dont understand. Why can't they just learn and actually think for themselves instead of turning to AI? It just backfires on them." sixth-grader Norrmaal Stoodent said.

   Artificialitis can't be treated. As soon as it starts, there is no current way to revert the brain back to it's original state. Students infected with Artificialitis must use AI because they can't do anything on their own.

   "We all ignored AI until students started to become AI themselves, and all we can do is let them continue using AI until they can't function on their own." Mr. Think said.

   Scientists also unfolded that Artificialitis is contagious, asking a question about homework or a test to an infected person could also have a chance at infecting the person asking.

   "I think it's best we all ignore the infected students, and protect ourselves by learning instead of desperately turning to other resources!" Stoodent said.

   The only way to avoid Artificialitis is just to learn, consume the material that you, as a student, are being taught, instead of finding the easy way out.

   "Students should start putting in real effort, and luckily theres still kids in my class who are genuine and hard-working." Mr. Think said.