Ever heard of that one quote, ‘’Life is full of challenges, but these challenges are only given to you because God knows your faith is strong enough to overcome them’’. Well my faith procrastinated, and it took me years to conquer my challenge.

Ever since I was young, I always thought that white girls were much prettier than I was. For some reason, I would put my skin tone in games I was not because I thought it looked better than the tone I was. I had this jealousy because they had long, straight, blonde hair while I was struck with hair that was a struggle to get through. It was a time where I would look up ‘’hairstyles’’ and I would immediately see white females, which I thought instantly proved my point. But one thing I regret is having some type of hatred for myself, feeling like I should have been born white. Feeling discouraged about myself, not knowing what we’ve been through just to get to where we are now. I despise that I had a huge setback of not knowing our history. This sorrow of missing this opportunity to better know our past events.

It felt like this guilt when I was young had this bad effect on me. It affected my outlook on the black community. As I began to grow up, the experience I previously had wanted me to better look into the black community myself. I never once told no one what I was going through or what I thought I was going through. I just didn’t want to go my whole life thinking that white females were prettier than I was. I wanted to learn and that’s exactly what I did, I invested in my community. I learn more and more as the days go on. I was shocked because I never knew or have ever thought about what was happening. It surprised me to see that police brutality was happening before it even got the recognition it needed. Knowing that this was a thing long before really shocked me, not only did I feel the need to dig deeper into this police brutality, I also wanted to learn about lives that were taken away by police. Come on, let’s be real here, young black men are at risk of being killed by use of force in the United States. Know and say their names: Rayshard Brooks, 27 years old fell asleep in his car, blocking a drive-through lane at a fast-food restaurant, officers shot him twice in the back. Daniel Prude, 41 years old was running onto the street, naked, while having a mental heatlh episode. A police officer placed a ‘’spit hood’’ onto his head. He was restrained for over three minutes, he later died due to complications of asphyxia. Seeing all this broke my heart because while I was over here hating or well disliking being black. My people were being killed.

Having this setback, this experience got me to better understand black beauty, black excellence, black power. Like a wise person once said, ‘’life is full of challenges, how you handle these challenges is what builds character. Never be afraid to be who you are.’’ And guess what, I wasn’t afraid to be me. I was proud to be me. I didn’t need to feel sorry for being born the color I am. This experience led me to who I am today. It opened my eyes and added more self confidence to myself. So to all the young ladys and all the upcoming ladys, I just wanted to say; Never be afraid to rock your beauty, you don’t need to be sorry to be black. You don’t need anyone else’s approval, you are what you are. Remember that the true beauty starts when you start becoming yourself. Start loving yourself for who you are.