Afternoon Thoughts

Afternoon Thoughts

Blue

NYPD stole my dad from me, my auntie

my little brother

my niece

DON’T RESIST

Okay

But don’t kill me just because I’m black and you’re scared for your life

I’m never going to see them again

and even though I didn’t know them

They still took a piece from me

Washed away

Forever in the salty sea that stole and swallowed my ancestors

And my salty tears don’t amount to the horrors you lived

I’m sorry.

I miss you.

I didn’t know you but I miss you

What can I do?

I’m so sorry.

What can I do?

I’m so sorry.

What can I do to repay you?

I’ll shout in the streets and be carefree

As you couldn’t be.

I’ll live every day that you couldn’t be.

I’ll live every day that you couldn’t breathe.

And I feel worthless

every time I lie in my bed unable to move.

I feel worthless

but I feel your blood running in my veins.

I feel you.

I feel the power from your tears and tiny rebellions

I wear my natural hair like a crown that can’t be touched.

So many things I want to tell you

I don’t know how to say them

I don’t know

Help me.

Because I look in the mirror and hate what I see, but look at you and cry tears of joy, the black woman,

Wow

I feel so much

I feel too much

-Dominique Dunlap