I found a girl, she told me things and made me feel butterflies,

There were reigning champions in my past, but they weren’t exactly like you,

Then there, I thought I had found the one of my life,

If I were just true to myself, would I have been collecting corals on land?

You were clueless of the things I had in mind, and you never knew my entries on my journal,

Were the things you said to me just little white lies?

I acted dumb around you, so it’d mean I was a naive person about love,

I wanted to look like I needed guidance, specifically from you, 

Not gonna lie, I found love in the past, thought they were the one,

But I broke myself in the process, and lost touch completely,

Now that you’re here and I’m doing better, I want to give you the best I can,

Remember when we were planning on having dates?

Not in a romantic way, but my side felt complete chills of the thought with you, 

But I confessed my time to you after that, saying with no clarity you weren’t good enough,

I wish I never revealed the truth, I can never go pass the day being complacent,

Now, I did my time, so I will have to pay my time here in your asylum,

Few months pass by, you found someone new different from me, 

Held your shoulders, and you didn’t mind,

But when he’s with you looking eyes, do you see me in the back of his eyes?

Did everything replay in your head when we used to do those things we once did?

Watching shows, avoiding my social life, completely starving myself,

If I just looked slim, well-toned, and bulky like him, would you have accepted me?

At least, everything is good for you now, you quickly found a new guy,

Not even struggling with mental health, and you went the flow with him,

Maybe I’m too emotional to be perfectly with you, but I liked me better when I’m with you,

Or you never tried to empathize my crimes when I was with you,

Or maybe it’s true when they say when you reveal yourself to them, they’d love you less,

Perhaps the truth is you never pictured me like I pictured you,

I guess you just found someone more interesting than me,

When at the start, all I wanted was to be enough for you,

Maybe I’m just not as cool as your new guy right now,

Now I am losing my marbles, wanting to pick them slowly and surely,

And I’d like to have my old self again, and I am still trying to find it,

Don’t you think I fought our imaginary relationship the best I could?

But my God, you couldn’t have cared less about someone who gave it all for you,

Don’t you think you toyed with my feelings too much, just to be your liability,

Goodness Lord, I wish we never happened, I am way too emotional to have a relationship,

And maybe I could never find love, will I be forever a writer in the dark?