Embedded Files
CAST OF CHARACTERS
AMELIA, a young woman in her early thirties with dry, snappy humor. Typically is self-motivated and successful in all parts of her life. Divorced more than a couple of years ago, single in the present.
KRIS, a naturally beautiful woman the same age as Amelia, currently working as a novel writer. Charismatic and well-liked.
(A commercial airplane is boarding. Destination unknown. Three chairs on stage mimic a row of the plane. AMELIA, sitting in her seat, watches as passengers file down the aisle and choose their seats. Her eyes dart from face to face, hoping to find one in particular.)
AMELIA (Under her breath, nervous) Where is she? I thought I saw her at security. But- maybe not. I would have this luck. Maybe not though. (assuring herself) It’s not her. Definitely not her. No. If it were her-well-it isn’t. It defini-(A woman, tall, brunette, casually beautiful, enters the plane) -definitely is her. (Amelia opens up the book lying beneath her chair and pretends to look busy)
KRIS (Walking down the aisle, approaching the row where AMELIA is, sitting at the window, her head down) Excuse me, is this seat taken?
AMELIA (Glancing up at KRIS, trying not to make eye contact, speaking rushed) No, it isn't. You can sit here (sticking her face back into the book).
"Two Lunches" Isabel Fay
KRIS Perfect, thanks! (puts bag under seat and sits down) Hi, my name is Kris, what's yours?
AMELIA (Reluctantly, turns and looks at KRIS)
KRIS Wait, Amelia? Oh my god! What are the odds?
AMELIA (Pausing, then talking under her breath) I guess not low enough…
KRIS (Enthusiastically) How are you?
AMELIA Great.
KRIS Where are you going?
AMELIA Trip for work.
KRIS Are you still at your job?
AMELIA Okay, really? This is what we're doing right now?
KRIS What? I just want to catch up! It's been so long since we've talked.
AMELIA (muttering) Not long enough. (Pauses, then clears throat) As fun as that little…exchange…was, I was just getting into my book when you sat down so if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to that.
KRIS Oh-um-okay. Of course.
(Momentary pause as AMELIA looks down to start to read again. A voice tells all of the passengers to fasten their seatbelts, the plane is about to take off. KRIS takes a minute, looks around, then glances back towards AMELIA and her book)
KRIS What are you reading? Sorry, I know you wanted to get into it but I can't help myself!
AMELIA (giving in) Oh, trust me, I know. And I’m not sure, this is just something I picked up back at the airport. (Flipping the book over so that the front cover is in view. Scans the cover for a minute) Uh-are you serious Kris?
KRIS (starting to laugh) What? I'm just curious.
AMELIA You wrote this book Kris.
KRIS (still laughing) Um, yeah… I did. That was funny though! Are you liking the book?
AMELIA No actually…
KRIS That's a lie and you know it.
AMELIA Yeah. It actually is.
KRIS When you finish it, let me know! It's a new one that I just publ-
AMELIA Let me stop you right there, Kris. I don't want to hear about the new book published, or how you're doing so well, all new person. I really don't. And honestly, I'm a little confused as to why you think I do.
KRIS Why do I? Maybe because we've been friends forever? Maybe because I miss you?
AMELIA Were friends. We were friends. Please don't act ignorant and like you're surprised that I don't want to be friends with the woman who slept with my husband while we were still married.
KRIS Oop-okay. I guess we're getting into that right now? On the plane? Not ten minutes after we've just reunited…
AMELIA This isn't “reunited”, this is just “happened to run into each other and now pushing conversation when we could just sit here and be and then go our separate ways when we land”.
KRIS (More optimistic, slightly tone-deaf) Okay, ignoring that, I'm actually okay with getting into this. I think we should.
AMELIA Kris, I really don't think that's a good idea. (pauses) Look, I mean, it's been years, and I'm over it. It's done, you did it, he did it. Now I'd just like to sit with my book and read. Maybe have a minute to relax? (adjusts herself in the seat and motions to start reading again)
KRIS Listen, I know that you probably don't want to talk to me. But I think we should. I'm genuinely sorry for sleeping with Justi-
AMELIA (Looking immediately up from the book, and at KRIS. Tone of voice snapping) Don't talk about him! As if that'll help. (starts mocking) You know what, actually? Thanks! Yeah, a couple years go by, and I just no longer care that my best friend slept with my husband. (serious now, sarcastic) Really?
KRIS I can't imagine how hurtful that could've been. Seriously, I can't, and I know that.
AMELIA (muttering) Glad you know something. Common decency? Still working on it.
KRIS It was five years ago, Amy. Five years. And in all that time I've changed.
AMELIA Clearly not. You know why? Because here we are. Sitting on this plane. I'm reading a book. Quietly. And you just felt the need to insert yourself. And apologize. And figure out some kind of way to not make yourself the villain.
KRIS That's not what this is. You know that.
AMELIA (shaking her head) Do I? Thanks for coming to that conclusion. (making direct eye contact with KRIS) This is what you did before. You always had to be the center of attention. All eyes on you. But that's the thing. This (hands gesturing in a circle) is not about you. It's about the fact that after what you did, my husband and I got a divorce. Our marriage and relationship thrown away.
KRIS (growing frustrated now) Amelia, that's not fair and you know it isn't. I know you might not want to realize this, but it takes two people to do what we did. If he had wanted to stop, he could have. But he didn't.
AMELIA Stop patronizing me. Don't go and act like I don't understand. I do. Trust me. But you were there.
AMELIA (disgusted) I need to go. I just-I can't do this right now. Move. (standing up, annoyed)
(KRIS sighs, and stands up, moving into the aisle. AMELIA pushes past KRIS, bumping purposely into her shoulder. AMELIA walks off stage. KRIS looks in the direction of where AMELIA left and rolls her eyes. KRIS shakes her head, takes a deep breath, and returns to her seat. Blackout)
SCENE 2
(The airplane bathroom, AMELIA stands in front of the mirror and the sink.)
AMELIA
(Alone, standing in front of the airplane bathroom mirror. Rising and falling in intensity of tone and volume.) UGH. Come on. Why am I so bitter? How did I become that crazy woman who’s so angry about her ex that she can’t move on. That’s not who I am. THIS is not who I am. The angry side comments to Kris. She’s not wrong. At least not fully. BUT SHE IS. I mean, if you really think about it, she slept with my husband. Five years ago though. (starting to cry) I’ve been stuck, sitting here for the last five years. Last christmas. I cried looking through the pictures. ON CHRISTMAS DAY. I wasn’t with my family. Not with any friends. Not with a partner. Just alone. Alone and bitter. Now I’m still alone. Alone and lost. (pauses, takes a deep breath, staring intently at the mirror) Amelia, look at yourself. Look at the running mascara. And the forehead wrinkles and crow’s feet at thirty two. All because of a boy. A cheating, toxic boy, that you never even really liked. No. Because if you really liked him, it would have hurt. Truly hurt. You didn’t care that he cheated. You were probably about to. That marriage was done long before she ever came around. But her. She’s why you cared. Kris. Kris sitting over there. In her seat. Making an effort. Which is far more than you’ve ever done. Far more than you deserve. (under her breath) with those side eyes and nasty little comments. (louder now, with finality) You’re done. I’m done. With all of this. (Starting to wipe tears away, and fix eye makeup. Blackout)
SCENE 3
(AMELIA exits the bathroom and walks down the aisle back to her seat. KRIS stands to let her in. They sit in silence for a minute, then KRIS speaks up)
KRIS (taking a deep breath) Okay. I was thinking while you were gone and I-I just want you to be happy. And I was apologizing, and trying to reconcile, and prodding, for that reason-
AMELIA Wait, Kri-
KRIS -no, Amelia, just let me finish. All I want to say is that I see how this is too much for you, and I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be a burden, I didn’t want to cause any stress. So I’m sorry. I promise that once this flight has landed you will never hear from me again.
AMELIA No, Kris seriou-
KRIS Amelia-I’m serious. I don’t want you to feel obligated to be nice to me. Or talk to me. I don’t want that. I know that what I did was so wrong, and I fully understand that you can’t forgive me. I get it. So this is the last you’ll hear from me. I swear.
AMELIA Are you done?
KRIS Yes.
AMELIA Okay. Now that you’ve done your whole “I’m the bigger person… sweeping in at the right time” thing, I’m not mad at you. And I don’t want to never hear from you again. I used to think I did. Like ten minutes ago, really. (pauses) It was wrong sleeping with Justin. Really, really wrong, and kind of disgusting, if you really think about it. BUT. You and I both know that we didn't love each other any more. (under her breath) I mean, it didn't help for you to go and screw him, but… (louder again) It doesn't matter. Not anymore.
KRIS Um, okay, wow. I'm not gonna lie, that was not what I thought the big "storming to the bathroom” thing was going to end in. Now, if you had come back and yelled at me some more. Maybe cussed me out? That sounds a bit more like you.
AMELIA (mocking tone, more playful) Girl- we haven't talked in five years. How do you know what "sounds like me"?
KRIS (laughing) I know what "sounds like you" because of the ten years before. And the ten years before that! Don't pretend you had some soul-searching moment in your little pity party.
AMELIA (starting to laugh, too) Hey! It was not a pity party. You're too comfortable for a woman who I just forgave for sleeping with my ex-husband.
KRIS Unloved, kinda trashy, man-whore kind of ex-husband.
AMELIA So trashy.
KRIS I mean, who sleeps with your wife's best friend? He sucks.
AMELIA Damn right. (playfully) You suck too. (more serious now) Though not as much as him. And not as much as me.
(Flight attendant's voice over the speaker says that the plane will be experiencing some turbulence, so everyone should stay in their seats. Unbothered, AMELIA and KRIS are smiling. Blackout.)
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