Family Wellness Tip


Think, Judge, Know

We gain knowledge through events and our senses. We then think about that event. We judge that event as safe or unsafe, okay or not okay. We attach feelings to that event. We respond to the event. We see how our response worked. Then we keep that event, judgement, and response in our memory.

A simple breakdown of what we do with new information. Does that change as we get older? Yes and No. The process is the same unless there is damage to the brain. The way we judge and respond to information changes as we age. Let's see how it changes as our kids grow.

Age: 0-2

Thoughts & Learning:

  1. Use 5 senses (see, taste, smell, touch, hear)

  2. Comes from performing basic actions (holding, eating, listening, crawling, walking, speaking)

  3. Comes from interactions with environment

  4. A lot of trial and error

    • Balance when walking

    • Eye-hand work to get cheerio from table

  5. Lots of repetition

How do I help?

  • Find toys and activities that use all senses.

  • Help and encourage basic skills.

  • Lots of face to face interaction. See facial expressions. Hear your voice. Hear you respond to them.

  • Peek-a-boo is good for learning things aren't gone when you can't see them.

  • Read aloud.

Age: 2-7

Thoughts & Learning:

  1. Language development

    • Words & pictures stand for the actual object (picture of a tree is understood to represent a tree in the outside world)

  2. Self-focused view of world (hard to see other's point of view)

  3. Lots of role playing during play

    • Able to pretend

    • Able to take on behaviors of imagined events and people

  4. Concrete thoughts (black and white thinking)

    • 4 oz water in tall, skinny glass is full AND 4 oz of water in short, wide glass is not full - kids will say tall glass has more water

How do I help?

  • When reading aloud, point to words and pictures.

  • Help to understand feelings and feeling faces.

    1. Theirs and others.

  • Lots of pretending while playing. Tea parties. Restaurant.

  • Patience when saying and showing reasons why.

Age: 7-12

Thoughts & Learning:

  1. Become more logical

  2. Start using a set of steps to complete tasks

  3. Begin seeing other's point of view

  4. Forming opinions and ideas

How do I help?

  • Help them plan activities start to finish.

  • Help them understand different views in the same situation.

  • Ask questions to get them thinking deeper about things.

  • Ask questions to understand and direct to more realistic thinking...without killing creativity.

Age: 12+

Thoughts & Learning:

  1. Deeper thinking about concepts & ideas

    • Using letters to replace numbers in math

    • Understand meaning of a poem

  2. Able to plan for future

  3. Can think and discuss hypothetical events

How do I help?

  • Engage in deep conversations without pushing your ideas on them. Ask more questions. Get them to think deeper and do more research.

  • Praise them for giving their ideas and beliefs and having such a good discussion. Thank them for helping you think deeper.

  • Help them plan for the future. Trust their plan and help them tweak it. Help them think about obstacles and how to overcome those.

  • Have hypothetical discussions. "What would you do if it was your friend who did that?" "I know that was a TV show, but what if something like that happened to us?"