Family Wellness Tip


Topic: Milestones

Milestones

Life is full of milestone. Some that cause joy. Some that cause pain. All milestones none-the-less. First steps. First words. First day of school. First kiss. First break-up. Graduation. Job. Marriage. Death of a loved one. The milestones of brain development are important to know. It helps us make sure we're on track. It, also, tells us when things aren't on track and we need help.

There are a few different ways that researchers have marked milestones. This is going to get sciencey, so please nerd out with me.

Erikson's Psychosocial Development

  • Looked at identity growth and development in stages

  • Conflicting and blending of person and society/culture

  • What does this mean for me?

    • We are able to see and respond to behaviors according to stage

    • We are able to help our children become a person who thrives in their environment

    • We can be more understanding when:

      • Our toddler says "I do it myself"

      • We can be more understanding when our teen prefers advice from friends

      • When our young adult feels accomplished when they picket at the capitol

Piaget's Cognitive Development

  • Looked at intelligence in stages

  • Thought processes change at each stage as the brain learns in it's environment

  • What does this mean for me?

    • Concrete stages of brain development help us track our child's development and reach out for help when something doesn't seem right

    • We can be more understanding when:

      • Our toddler cries when they lose their favorite stuffy

      • Our 6 yo doesn't understand sarcastic statement and instead takes them literally

      • Our 9 yo asks "What if..." over and over for every possible scenario they think of

      • Our 14 yo begins getting anxiety about a big project at school

Kohlberg's Moral Development

  • Looked at morality in stages

  • Reasons for thinking what is right or wrong changes as people age

  • What does this mean for me?

    • Guiding your child to be a critical thinker about doing what is right and wrong is important

    • Kids want to do the right thing

    • Kids' view of what is right or wrong and their reason for what is right or wrong changes

    • Reminding our kids that the line of right and wrong can seem blurry and be confusing

    • We can be more understanding when:

      • Our child becomes upset about threatening being punished

      • Our child is looking to bargain about everything

      • Our child thinks they are doing the right thing because their peers or looked up to social group thinks it is

Brain overload? I totally understand. This is information is helpful when relating to our kids. It is helpful for understanding that social isolation in teens can have damaging results. It is helpful for teaching communication skills across the life of our child: blabbering TO making words TO making sentences TO describing emotions TO forming opinions. Remembering even a small piece of these theories will help you be a better guide and support for your child(ren).