Family Wellness Tip

30 Second Plan

An important skill during hard talks is to keep calm. Easier said than done, right? Thoughts and urges pop in our head in 1/5 of a second. That means, we react to something someone else did or said in 1/5 of a second. That doesn't let us respond in a good way every time. How do we stay calm during tough talks or intense events? Use your 30 second plan.

I know how to respond well to things. What do I need to make a 30 Second Plan for? There are going to be times when you will get triggered. Something will come up in a talk or event that hits a little different. It always does. When you think about it later, you ask yourself why you reacted that way? We are human. We all have some trauma. The trauma may be big. The trauma may be small. The trauma may be about a certain thing that always affects how you react when you see it or hear about it. We have to work hard to respond instead of react. If getting past the 1/5 of a second reaction time will help you respond to things better, just think what 30 seconds can do.

Create Your 30 Second Plan

  1. Deep belly breath. Take a big slow breath. No matter what is happening, you don't have to do anything right now. Even in a crisis moment, you can calm yourself first.

  2. Short, simple phrase. What can you say to yourself so you stay calm and in the moment?

    • "Right here, right now, I am okay."

    • "This is not about me."

    • "I don't have to respond right now."

  3. Action to calm your body. What can you do to relax your body? What part(s) of your body need to relax?

    • Tense & Relax. Find a tight spot in your body. Tighten that body part and count to 3. Relax that body part.

    • Breathe to Relax. Find a tight spot in your body. Take a deep breath in. See your breath expanding that body part like a balloon. Breath out. See the body part deflate like a balloon.

    • Scan & Relax. Start at your head. Scan your body. When you find a spot that is tight, stop. Focus on that area. Tell it to relax. When it relaxes, move on. Stop when you find another spot. Go until you reach your toes.

  4. Repeat if needed. Repeat the 30 second plan 1-2 more times if needed. Silence is okay. Stillness is okay. Respond when you're ready. Your response may be to take a break. Your response may be to talk more. You'll know the right thing to do, at the right time.