Family Wellness Tip

Good Grief

No this is not about a Charlie Brown movie. We are really going to talk about grief and loss. We grieve many losses in our lives. Death of a loved one. End of a marriage. End of a friendship. Something we used to be able to do and can't anymore. Something we wanted so badly and will never have. It stinks and we move through it. Social isolation during COVID. Around the holidays, these losses might pop up again. That is normal and okay. Take it easy on yourself. Grief shows you that you loved deeply. That is a special thing.

Here are some things that might help.

Suggestions & Tips

  1. Sit with it. Who really wants to be sad? Well...no one to be honest. That being said, we all feel sad or angry or numb at times. Ignoring it and pushing it away doesn't make it better or go away quicker. Sitting with it. Allowing it to be there. Allowing it to suck. Feel the feelings.

  2. The feelings will pass. Ride the wave. It may feel so bad you almost can't breathe. Let it wash over you. It will get better. You can make it to the other side of the wave. If a feeling didn't change, we'd always be stuck in that feeling AND feel so much we couldn't do anything else.

  3. Share feelings. Find safe people you can share your feelings with. Feelings about the loss. Feelings about what to do now. Feelings of confusion on what or how to feel. Sharing can be helpful to make sense of things.

  4. Share memories. Sometimes sharing your memories with safe people can be a nice thing. Tough times. Funny times. All of it. Share what you remember. Listen to other's memories.

  5. Self-care. Be gentle on yourself. You are going through a hard time. This is a great time to do things that can bring you joy or peace. Do things that comfort your inner self.

  6. Grief is different for everyone. No 2 people grieve alike. Some work through it faster. Some get stuck in stages. Some ignore it all. It will affect you differently. People will have the same event happen and see it differently. People will have the same event happen and feel it differently. It's okay. Don't judge yourself or others for grieving more or less.

  7. Seek spiritual guidance. Looking to your higher power or spiritual leader may bring you peace. Some people

  8. Seek professional help if it becomes too much.

Kids grieve too. Kids may need help understanding and dealing with big emotions. 2 main things kids need to learn:

1. ALL their feelings are valid and accepted. It’s okay to be not okay.

2. Feelings come and feelings go, they are temporary.

Here are a few more tips for supporting kids who are stressed, sad, anxious, or grieving: