Family Wellness Tip

Just to clarify, I'm not asking that you have your kid raise their hand every time they want to say something to you. Or ask permission to use the restroom. I'm thinking of a few easy tips to get back in to the swing of things for waiting their turn and responding with more detail and managing emotions.

1. Interrupting Cow

   • Ever heard that joke? Well, we don't want our kids to be interrupting cows or blurting Bens. Simple reminders that you are talking to someone and they need to wait until it's their turn to talk.

   • Also, let them know appropriate ways to get your attention or let you know they need to say something. Do they tug on your shirt? Do they mouth they need to say something when you're done? Do they leave you a sticky note?

2. It's In The Details

   • Kids are always being reminded to use more detail at school. Writing stories. Writing essays. Describing a problem on the playground. Coloring a picture. Using their words to explain their mood change. Help them out by making them describe things to you. Their feelings. The baby deer. What the book or story was about.

   • You can go deeper with this too. Ask their opinion of the movie or book. How did they feel about the story? Did it seem fact or fiction or a little of both? What was the underlying message? Did they agree with it? Ask them how they think the baby deer was feeling by it's actions. Did it seem scared? Curious? Why? Ask them what started their big feelings. Did something happen that made them happy/upset/sad? What about that made them feel that way? How much control do they have over what happened? How much control do they have over their own response?

3. Help

   • Everyone needs help from time to time. Everyone makes mistakes. Kids don't see it that way. They think they should be able to do everything themselves. They think that if they mess up, they are dumb or a bad kid. Not every kid, of course, but a lot and I would even say most kids feel that way. Show your kids that you don't know certain things and that you mess up. You are human. You need help with small or big tasks. You make mistakes and say things you regret when you're made. You jacked up a meal. You interrupted them and that was a mistake. You thought you knew an answer and it turned out you were off by quite a bit. It's okay. Show them it's okay. Let them see you ask for help. Ask them for help. Let them hear you say "I messed up" "I made a mistake" "I was wrong". Help them practice when they do mess up. Remind them it's okay and normal. Let them know that after they're done being embarrassed, it's okay to laugh at yourself.

4. Frustrated on Purpose

   • What? Who wants to be frustrated? I know, no one. It'd be nice if everything went smoothly all the time. It doesn't. We have to learn to be frustrated and keep going. Grit. Find things that are just beyond their skill level or take a little longer than usual. Make them work at it. Let them take a short break and get back to it. Encourage them through their frustration, even if they cry or throw a fit. Let them learn to trust that they CAN do it. Let them learn to trust that they ARE smart enough. Let them learn that the prize might take a little longer to get OR the prize might be an internal feeling and not a thing. This will help them with those frustrating projects that take more work or longer to finish or need more help to finish.

These are just a few small things to prep kids for some of the bigger things at school. Don't stop with these little things, get creative and think of more ways to get that crazy kiddo of yours ready for school.