I had the privilege of being born in beautiful Great Falls, Montana. My dad was a construction worker and my mom a homemaker. When I was about six years old, my parents divorced and my mom received custody of me and my little sister, quickly remarried, and moved to Tonopah, Nevada.
Once I got over the pain of the move, my childhood turned out to be pretty nice, at least as nice as a child of divorces' can be. I was a typical American boy. Going to school, riding my bike, playing with friends, watching television, and seeing my dad for one month every summer are things I remember. As I became older, I got into reading, Dungeons and Dragons, and video games. During the summer before eighth grade, we moved north to Winnemucca where I finished high school. It was hard, but I eventually made friends and had a decent high school career. Dungeons and Dragons and video games carried over as my primary hobbies, and I got into weight lifting, ran track for one year, and played recreational basketball. Perhaps half of the students at my school were into the party scene at some level. Even so, I could not see the benefit in using substances that might make you feel good in the moment, but caused you to lose control and feel bad later. Regrettably, all things were not so good as they appeared on the surface. I was also sneaking magazines that are dehumanizing to women, and developing resentment towards my mom for the divorce.
The entire time I was in Nevada my mom always took us to church. She said that she became a "Christian" shortly after the divorce. It took years, but Mom and us kids badgered my step-dad so much that he finally quit smoking and drinking and started coming to church with us. Church wasn't so bad, it was "what good people do". There were occasions where pastors would arrest my attention from daydreaming or drawing with a very vivid story about somebody getting killed, or something. In Winnemucca, we got to go to "Sunday School" were I could hang out with my friends and talk, and for the service Mom let me bring my fantasy novels and read.
However, sometime during my junior year of high school, I began to think seriously about the implications of what my pastor and my mom said about the Bible. If God was real, then the theory of evolution I learned in science class was wrong. If God was real, then it seemed reasonable to me that He would have some type of plan that I should know about, possibly that He would write down in something like the Bible. Or maybe not. Either way, I reasoned, it was very important to learn the answer to these questions. For if what the people at church said was true, then I needed to learn more about God and change my behavior -- but if they were wrong, then I should find a way to get out of that and stop wasting my time!
As the end of high school neared, I undertook the big 'college search'. Some major factors for me were to: go to a "good" school, get my questions about God answered, and get away from the folks (but not too far away -- I wanted to stay on the west coast). It came down to choosing between UNLV and Biola. UNLV is the University of Nevada, Las Vegas; I had a full ride scholarship and my step-dad's family lived there. Biola, a private University run by Christians, on the other hand, was in Southern California; I only had scholarships for about half of the expenses, but I thought that a smaller school would be a nicer environment and have nicer professors. After visiting both schools, I chose Biola. That decision proved to change my life forever.
My first year at Biola in 1992 seemed to repeatedly strike me with a single thing: most of the people around me -- fellow students, professors, and even staff workers -- actually embodied what the Bible I was told about as a boy spoke of! I heard professors speak who had actually spent most of the adult years of their life in third world countries for the sole purpose of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ! I met people who had seen biblical miracles like the lame standing up and walking right before their very eyes! I watched students who not only conducted morally upright lives from their youth, but exuded unswerving purpose and deep peace from their very presence. Each of these claimed that God was real, the Bible was true, and their power was due to a living relationship with Jesus Christ. Neither in Great Falls, nor Tonopah, nor Winnemucca had I ever known such people.
I had also never been exposed to serious academic study in my life, let alone a forum in which deep discussion of life's 'big issues' was encouraged and openly explored. So that is what I did. I took Jesus and the Bible very seriously. I also wanted to have a fair search in my personal quest for the meaning of life, so I read about the other major religions of the world, too: Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. At Biola, we also seriously studied Atheism (which amounts to being a religion) and arguments for and against it. In the end I came to two conclusions. First, Christianity was the most logically, historically, and scientifically sound of all I studied. Second, mere study leads to a puffed head and a shriveled heart.
Not all people at Biola were as impressive as I earlier described. Some were very dogmatic, some legalistic, and others hypocritical. Another way to put the second thing I learned is that the source of life that the people who so impressed me was not merely their beliefs, but it was their daily walking with the living Jesus Christ. They showed me how I could talk to Him and receive His guidance, how change came not in seeking change but in seeking Him who changes us, and how I could serve Him and be blessed in my serving. That first year there was no single moment where this 'revelation' came to me. All I know is that
I once was lost, but now I'm found,
Was blind, but now I see,
as from the words of the old hymn, Amazing Grace.
After that year, I moved forward with such zeal for Jesus that I almost discarded my initial major of Mathematics in favor of Biblical Studies and Theology. At the strong urgings of she-who-at-that-time-was-my-girlfriend, and our families, I chose to "tough it out" and do a double major. I proposed to my girlfriend, Natalie, at the conclusion of an elaborate date on the cusp of summer 1994. She graduated from Biola that fall. We married in 1995. I graduated in 1996.
The only thing I knew about God's purpose for my life at that point was that my wife and I were to play a role in returning God's community, the church, to her original foundation in a vital life-transforming relationship with Jesus Christ. I reasoned that the most effective way to do this was to earn a PhD in Theology and train the next generation of pastors and teachers. "Surely this will get to the heart of the problem," I thought to myself. With this kind of future direction in mind, Natalie and I married in December 1995. Even though neither one of us had a job and I had one year of school left, we sensed it was God's will. While we were away on our 'mini-honeymoon' after the wedding, we received a job offer on our answering machine for Natalie to be a permanent substitute teacher for the rest of the school year! That job led into a regular teaching position and Natalie put me through my senior year and then through a subsequent two-and-a-half year M.A. in New Testament Studies program, also at Biola. Our family life was wonderful, our ministry was flourishing, and I learned a lot. Although I needed to make up some units for their programs, my top two schools accepted me for the PhD, finances were OK, and we were poised to fulfill the goal! But God had other plans...
After I had begun to make up the units for my chosen PhD program, two visions which God had previously given to me came true. As a result, my wife and I began at first to question our direction. We earnestly sought God to tell us if we should continue pursuing the PhD in Theology, or return to math. On a sacred day in October 1999, I received what I can only describe as a "visitation". The voice and presence of God came and spoke to me for two hours about my motives and His purposes. The essence of it was that He appreciated my zeal, but now that I was trained He wanted to use me in another way. Much to my disappointment, He called me back to math. After researching programs and schools, we decided to stay in the area and take California State University Fullerton's (CSUF) Applied Mathematics program, which I completed in summer 2002. None of the seven community college positions I applied to with my almost-in-hand degree came through. However, my alma mater (Biola) offered me a one-year contract in my old department.
While teaching that year, my department urged that I consider pursuing a PhD in math and eventually come onto the faculty permanently. By this time my first daughter had been born and my wife was staying home with her, as we agreed when we were married. After prayerful consideration, we concluded that despite the challenges involved, that God would indeed have us continue our journey on the path of graduate education....
That was in 2002. A lot has happened since then, which I may add to this record at some point. For now I will conclude by saying that God has shown me that He is far bigger than the church, far bigger than the Bible, or mathematics, or the university, or any other thing. He is the One who created it all and He has a plan that, on the one hand, He has revealed to me my part -- which gives great meaning and purpose to my life. On the other hand, His plan is far greater than I can fathom. It is in the midst of this that I live my life, of which mathematics/statistics is one delightful strand.