Dave's Blog

(2023)

8 October 2023

Milk shake

Not long ago I took the bus into Southampton with the intention of finding a coffee shop. It had been a lovely day and I found myself at the top end of Palmerston Park, still coffeeless. In the distance I could see Sprinkles, the ice cream parlour. (I bet they're not not called parlours any more). It was early afternoon and the two staff were either preparing to open, or preparing to close the shop. They welcomed me in.

I could see myself browsing the menu as I walked up to the counter. A large ice-cream sundae, as big as my head, costing the best part of a tenner or milkshakes of every flavour imaginable for a more modest price. Somehow. Instead of a coffee I was ordering a toffee flavoured milkshake. My last milkshake must have been in the nineteen-seventies - made with milk from the fridge and two spoonfuls of pink Nesquick.

The place was still open, but quiet, so made my way to an immaculately clean table and vividly coloured upholstered bench. Very nice.

In a matter of minutes my milkshake arrived, delivered by the two cheerful members of staff. It looked delectable and tasted even better. The liquid was very sweet and felt soft, but with tiny pinpricks of ice rushing down my throat. I'd never drunk, or eaten, anything like this before. A few days earlier I had watched a tv program about the rise in popularity of coffee houses and what constituted a perfect sandwich? The key, apparently is to have a sandwich which not only immediately interests your taste buds, but continues to make you desire the second, third, fourth (etcetera) bites.

This was happening to me with the milkshake. I wanted to suck it up through the lovely fat straw, but also make it last FOREVER. I needed that next dose. How could I eke it out more? For the engineer in me, the answer was simple: smaller and smaller sucks while trying to estimate how long I'd got! I'd been well and truly hooked as I asymptotically approached the finishing line.

The bonus with this nectar was that I no longer wanted my flat-white, which suddenly made the price of the milkshake a bit more reasonable.

The staff waved as this old pensioner headed home.

Dave Milward

30 August 2023

A poem from the early 1970's by a comedian/singer guy called Jeremy Taylor - he had a brief moment of fame! I wonder if views have changed over the years? Dave

The day I smashed the television they say I was acting ODD,

I hadn't finished my baked beans and I asked Dad if he believed in God.

I said daft things like: "how are we all" and "anyone read any good books?"

So they gave me the TV Times to read - and a few suspicious looks.

It was then that I decided that the set would have to go, just as soon as I'd finished watching the Frankie Howerd show.

So I watched the Frankie Howerd show and when it was over and done,

I had to watch Rolf Harris 'cos he's always a bit of fun.

Then when I'd seen the news and the weather forecast and that,

And done the washing up for Mum and fed the ruddy cat,

There didn't seem much point in smashing the telly,

So, I left it where it was.

Now, every night, here ... I ... sit: watching ... telly ... just ... because!

6 August 2023

Saving the planet, by Dave Milward

(in the style of Michael Rosen)

Shopping in town, forget the car - saving the planet.

Pack umbrella, sun hat, re-usable mug ( periodic table design)(Nice turquoise)

March down the road, tricky corner, steep and leafy, slippery.

Can't see the bus it's too far up the hill

Tree in the way.

Getting close, bus emerging from under the tree.

It's a ten. Goes the pretty way - give it a miss.

Now here's the eighteen, - big, blue and double-deckered.

Eco friendly of course! saving the planet.

Driver looks cheerful too and there seems to be space upstairs.

Leap up the stairs like a ten year old,

One old man already on the front seat upstairs. We agree that

I am the driver and he is the navigator.

The eco-engine springs into life and the air con hums again.

Soon we are in Bitterne, eye to eye with the upstairs office dwellers.

Bus absolutely silent without the engine or air flow.

We're off - engine motoring again.

Tricky right turn into Lance's Hill

Peering into yards and yards of back garden, great fun.

Two lanes of traffic. Our upstairs seat seems wider than the traffic lane

I can hear the bus breathing in.

Over the river - wonderful view of the scrapyard and the gas works.

No surprise to know that we are now in Soton, with pretty park on the right.

Leap down the stairs and the lady driver opens the middle doors just for me

Near to Kingsland market. By now the engine has stopped again- saving the planet.

Hop off, and bus restarts its engine and goes on its way.

It's going to snuggle in behind Primark after negotiating a few roundabouts.

You can get the escalator just inside the shop.

But, I'm communing with nature across the park. Lovely views and

well planted with lots of trees, shrubs and flowers to save the planet.

I've decided to start with a coffee. I've found about 24 coffee places and

that's not all of them!

Costa, Nero, Waterstones, Pret, Library, Costa number two, Debenham's (but it's closed.)

Settle for Costa because of my gift card, and an extra bean for using a re-usable cup.

Saving the planet.

No time for shopping now.

So, back home - planet saved.

Dave Milward

27 July 2023

Musings

I was walking down to The Range the other day to spend some of my Costa gift voucher, that I was kindly given by Keith, for my spell as club secretary, For one reason or another I have not had the opportunity to visit a Costa recently owing to other things happening. However, just as I was about half-way to the Costa(near the Range), I heard a beep from my phone only to find that Costa had just rewarded me a free coffee. What could I do? I obviously had to use the free voucher lest it expire, so I saved my shed club prize for another day.
While I was at Costa I looked in the Range to see if they had any A4 notepads. (I love stationery!) A few weeks earlier I had been looking at the monstrously expensive notepads in another shop, so I was very pleased to find the Range's offerings, right near the entrance to catch all the youngsters preparing for the next school year. I managed to find some really splendid spiral bound A4 and A5 pads of remarkable quality with hard covers and only about £2.99 for the A4 version. I bought a load for myself and for the many kids' birthdays that come up in the summer at our house. My love for stationery started when I was very little and probably reached a peak when I was doing A level Physics at school. The physics teacher, Mr Perkins, was moving to another school after the holidays and as my physics notes were pretty neat and comprehensive he gave me a ream of beautiful narrow-lined foolscap paper, with margins. He wanted me to copy out all my notes for the course so that he had a clean copy to take to the new school with him. Was I happy? You bet! Playing with an unlimited supply of lovely new paper and my fountain pen and making sure my revision was up to date for the approaching exams. Bliss. (This was in the days before photocopiers). He attempted to justify it to me by saying how it would really cement my revision! But I didn't need any excuse.
Walking back from the Range I was overtaken by a big blue line No 18 double-decker claiming to have USB power. You wouldn't expect to power a bus from USB - even several USB sticks, would you?

1 April 2023

1 April 2023 (this is not an April fool)

I've got to grips with most of the surprises in my new car now, but this morning I had to drive home from Hedge End shops using the single shot wiper stick because I couldn't work out how to do continuous wipes. (All fixed now I was using rear window wipers by mistake.). It's difficult when it's tipping with rain, your anorak is dripping and your knitted hat is soggy. Needless to say I couldn't configure the heating to keep the windscreen clear of condensation, and I'm not sure I had my headlights on. I must find an accessible shop window to try all the different lighting modes. It's complicated so I just set it to AUTO.

4 March 2023

We have had a number of cold Shed Club meetings, but we're undaunted.

I am missing next week's shed club because I'm picking up a new (Second hand) car from our neighbours, The Mazda Garage. Should be fun.

I'm also having fun making a mannequin out of chicken wire and papier mache made from kitchen roll paper. It's looking fairly gruesome at the moment. On Wednesday, when I've done picking up the car I hope to get some shedders helping me glue some arms together. Note: He's meant to look a bit cartoon-like.

Finally, I found a good book on "Whittling" in Bitterne Library. Having seen some of the fabulous whittling from Clive , a new shedder, I'm anxious to see what can be done.

I've got it on loan until the end of March. If you want to borrow it next please let me know. Thanks, Dave

We hope to dress him (Ted) in a Bitterne Shed Club polo shirt and jeans and use him at the front of our stand at the next event at Bitterne Library. We hope it will be a bit of a talking point if only to show how crazy we are. I've already started to talk to him, expecially when I'm moving him around using the NHS-approved two finger crotch lift!

Away from shed matters, I have just been mending our ironing board. Thanks to watching box sets of The Repair Shop on BBC and iplayer I decided that I wasn't going to let a tiny little failed spot-weld beat me. After a good long think I contrived a fix using a length of threaded rod, to give it some grip, and two one-inch jubilee clips. I successfully managed to clamp the join quite satisfactorily and it's currently undergoing field trials. So far so good. One more basket of ironing to go.

8 January 2023

I'm hoping we can start 2023 off with some good news. There are loads of nasty world events that surely can only get better. Let's hope so.

I made one of my rare visits to Southampton last week and was pleased to see that the red bus was decked out in Christmas tinsel and streamers. It's good when a big enterprise can either initiate or tolerate such random gestures. It quite cheered me up. My daughter has boarded several buses without decorations so I must have got lucky. I can confirm that Southampton is still there and seems to be flourishing.

The year has started quietly at the shed, but we have continued to produce our rustic furniture products and more or less completed the lining of the new quiet (clean) shed. My thanks to Ian and Trevor for their help despite the seasonal bad weather.

I read about a repair project that a shed club can only dream of. Two retired engineers decided to take a look at the organ at St James' by the park church in Shirley. It had started developing issues five years ago, randomly playing notes in the middle of a funeral service. Quotes for repair had been obtained in the region of thousands of pounds. But, these two guys decided to take a look inside. They found that another repair had been done tens of years ago using a transistor technology that was exactly the same as that in the products they had worked on. This was their area of expertise. Intermittent problems are always a pain to track down, but over several months they were able to effect a fix for a grand-total cost of £10. Needless to say they, and the church members, were delighted.

Our Amazon Echo came up with a good Joke last week. I'll leave you with it:

What's red and bad for your teeth?

Answer:

A brick!

I think this article from The Times this morning is possibly good news.

Despite all the world leaders, companies, unions and the awkward squads doing their best to ruin things it's good to see people working away in the background to make improvements happen.

Somehow despite all the ill will we have managed to switch a quarter of our energy needs from being sourced by fossil fuels into being sourced from wind power. I think our country's engineers and technologists should get a pat on the back.