Keith Albans

1. Experience of old people's homes and worship Some have been to these places as a volunteer or visitor. Our older people out first and foremost people they do not exist as a breed apart. Spiritual goals are no different. Five particular areas which become less possible; these five goals are hugely important to people as spiritual beings.Having an opportunity to experience awe and wonder.

2. The opportunity to reflect on action – on what I have done.

3. Making connections

4. Seeing another's point of view, and

5. Seeing beyond my own circumstances.

This is not unique to older people but it does take on a particular significance . When ministering to and amongst older people these five things take on a particular significance . Some can make a connection between these skills and the fruits of the spirit.

Something going on in older people in the Third Age is t he need to try and make sense. Some try to work out what is the point of being alive. It is something that is almost unique to humanity . The experience of aging to the extent that we do is something we share with lodge seen mammals, though Keith hasn't asked a dolphin what it feels like to be getting old! People say it is something to do with trying to make sense and meaning for a particular tasks:

1. The first is a backward looking one - putting one's past in order. There is a link there to our liturgy and worship – how much do we draw out that link?

2. The second is to do with the present maintaining links in a changing society; think about being 110 and the changes in your lifetime or think simply about being 50 and the changes in your lifetime. Is one simply resentful at everything that is different or is one able to embrace the positives and not feel so bad about the negatives? How do I feel about being a human being as part of today's world?

3. The third area of meaning is about looking ahead and being reconciled today.

4. These are some of the tasks of aging.

Life in a residential home and your role as a visitor. What can we bring to help nurture the third age?

Affirmation: we all need affirmation whether we are two or 102 . But the person who is shut in is still a person but a lot of the people feel that they are shut in and alienated from the human race. Why am I still alive? What's the point? By visiting, engaging and ministering we affirm.

Belonging: The experience of loneliness so many older people feel. A sense they don't belong, that the community of which they have often been a key part somehow now is distanced from them. How can we bring a sense of belonging.

Crisis: a lot of visiting will be in crisis and that's where we may be good. For pastoral emergencies we tend to be there. Sometimes needs a practical sometimes but sometimes the visits are urgent. How do we minister within crisis?

Death: the death of a spouse death of a close friend and increasingly the death of their own children. The lady in Lincoln came into care at 107 because her daughter died aged 83 - t hat was the crisis that brought it about.

Escape: Sometimes visiting can offer escape particularly to a carer. One is the greatest gifts we can offer . A recent article in the church times about an alternative baptismal promise that we will baby-sit because we know what that does to your parents. The same is true for carers. Visiting and offering the chance for escape. The women' s fellowship of good in this area – when two or three visit, emphasising belonging by bringing someone along with you.

Guilt: Some visiting can allow great burdens and feelings of guilt to be lifted. Others may require specialist help. The need for Holy Communion remains; extending communion to them in the home where it is impossible when in a home.

Integration – bringing people together.

Sometimes we do not need to have a reason to visit it's just because we were here – “I was just passing” – visiting is important.

Dementia

MHA and the Christian Council on Aging have produced some leaflets; Keith illustrated some of the leaflets on worship for people with dementiaand visiting people with dementia. People with dementia often receive few visits because there is a mistaken belief that visiting is not worthwhile and visitors do not know what to say all to or do.

Visiting people with dementia doesn't follow the usual pattern of simply listening; the visitor has to take the initiative and to communicate in ways appropriate to the person with diminishing abilities. Visitors need to remember the other people going into that house: who else will be going into that home? Carers, family, neighbours? One of the things you are doing to everyone else visiting is signalling that that old person is a member of a church.

And do take a copy of the church notice sheet. When hostages have their photographs taken, they hold the current newspaper - it shows that they were alive on that day. The notice sheet is dated, too, and helps show we care.

Worship in a residential homes

Practical things: the nature of the home – is it a home where they're expecting you and want you to be there, leading a service or is it just the one resident you came to visit? Is your visit regular or a one off? Be prepared; you cannot get away with anything just because it's an old people's home. Check out who else is due that day.

What are their capabilities what is appropriate?

Using things that people know – familiarity is essential. The place of reminiscence is important; by being there you are offering people the opportunity to join them memories. Tactile visual reassurance is important. Most are not in a position to go off and do things for the Lord, no matter how much we exhort them.

The churches contribution to nurturing the Third Age

Firstly: we have opportunity to bring the outside world in and inside out. You are part of the wider community a community that the older people are a part of . You bring in the gossip can use the news. Also, take what you have learned from the head and the news back to your church community.

Secondly: remember the importance of ritual. A lot of what we do in services is of a ritual nature, no matter if you are high church all for a Pentecostal we all have our rituals, whether we like it or not . One of the tricks that the preacher can play is that as he announces the notices – watching all the ladies dive into their handbags – to tell everyone that the collection will be at the end of the service. It illustrates the place of ritual, accessing memory and that place of knowing who you are and what you are.

Finally: offer affirmation as a person in their own sight, but also in a care home , that of the staff. The Lord's Prayer is hard wired into our beings and everyone joins in; it is very affirming for the person. But what is fascinating is the experience of the staff; for that person old person, the Lord's Prayer and your visit may be the only time in the week that that old person has said anything to anybody. To see them participating is a reminder to staff that these people are indeed real persons. We offer the opportunity to see the person not the problem.