Shabbat
Although this illustration is of an Ashkenazi family in Germany, it reflects perfectly the idealised Shabbat table in Jewish homes everywhere.
We aim to create an atmosphere of calm and security that replenishes our spiritual and physical resources for the coming week with delicious food, convivial company, attention to the family (children especially), singing and Torah study.
In the first section following I discuss custom that apply at home; in the second, the synagogue.
The first section was written in response to a list of very specific enquiries as to how a Western Sephardi Shabbat should look and feel, for those who may not have seen it themselves. When all's said and done, though, the main aim - in any Jewish home - should be to create an atmosphere for physical revival and spiritual growth rather than one in which any custom is enforced at the expense of comfort.
Less is more
It is impossible to write about S&P customs at home without mentioning the "less is more" principle. Over the generations no group has made more changes to the liturgy and custom than the kabbalists, to whose influence the S&P have been largely (though not entirely) immune. So you will find many places below where rather than describing a custom, I say that something widespread is not done. This doesn't usually mean you can't or shouldn't do it, just that you don't have to. At first it feels like less but eventually you realise you are gaining not losing.
Shabbat in the home
Lighting the candles
Note 1, appended to this section, discusses the question of whether S&P women bless before or after lighting the candles.
Blessing the children
So if you have children, when do you bless them? In the synagogue, as soon as you get home, immediately before kiddush, or immediately after? The answer is choose the time that best suits you, and then keep to it: children love the security of knowing what's coming next (though of course incorporate surprises too).
Shalom Alechem and Eshet Hayil (not)
In the highly stylized format that Shabbat observance has taken on in our times - where Shalom Aleichem is sung in an Eastern European minor mode, and Eishet Hayil to a Modzitzer niggun composed by Ben Zion Shenker (as recently as 1953 by the way) - it sounds blasphemous to say that they are not part of the S&P custom. They were introduced by the kabbalists and if you like them by all means appropriate them for your own family tradition, but do please sing them in a more optimistic major key, as suggested here.
Kiddush
Kiddush is said standing. The cup is filled but not to overflowing, and held in the stronger hand as you normally hold a cup (not balanced precariously on your palm). Wine from the main cup is given to all the participants (who either drink from the main cup or from other cups into which the wine is poured), or alternatively they can hold their own cups of wine when kiddush is said. The choice is yours.
This is the chant used in London: ♫ Kiddush for Friday night
Mini first course (not)
The Gibraltarians (and some other communities) have the quaint custom of eating fish, fruit and vegetables immediately following kiddush and before washing. This provides an opportunity to say 3 extra blessings before Hamotsi, but is not obligatory, nor is it the custom among most S&P.
Hand washing
The S&P custom is to pour water twice on the right hand followed by twice on the left (RRLL). The kabbalists changed this to 3 per hand (RRRLLL). Note that even the kabbalistic version is different to the morning washing (RLRLRL).
Th question of whether the custom is to bless on the washing before or after the washing remains moot. While it seems likely the S&P ruling would have been to bless before washing - since nowadays our hands are usually clean (כל המצות מברך עליהן עובר לעשייתן) - the Ashkenazi custom of blessing after seems to have taken root.
Hamotsi
The blessing for bread is preceded by the verse "potaeah et yadecha" (Ps 145:16) a beautiful reference to God's bounty. Depending on the type of bread used and your personal preference, the bread can be cut with a knife or broken by hand. The kabbalistic aversion to using a knife (as iron was not allowed on the altar) is not followed. The bread pieces are dipped in salt before being passed around.
Gefilte fish (not)
For heaven's sake serve whatever food you like at the meal. We do not follow the kabbalistic preference for serving a fish course at each meal, but by all means do so if you like. Gefilte fish is said to have been invented to avoid fish with bones, but as we Sephardim are allowed to separate out fish bones on Shabbat as we eat, there is no need to specifically serve gefilte fish unless you like it (which personally I do).
Separation between fish and meat courses (not)
This custom arose due to a fear that eating the two together was physically dangerous. The S&P do not follow this, and there are kosher recipes from 400 years ago that include mixtures of fish and meat, such as beef with anchovy sauce.
Make the meal beautiful and meaningful
I mean to yourself, your family and your guests - not to some imagined standard that bores everyone to death. If you like soup, have some. If you don't, don't. As with every meal, but specially on Shabbat, it is nice if you can introduce a meaningful, educational, thought-provoking topic into the general conversation. You don't have to call it a Devar Torah, in fact you may ruin its effect if you do.
Table singing
It has become traditional in many Jewish communities to add to the special atmosphere by interspersing the meal with table songs that praise the Almighty, recount details of the observance of the day, and generally introduce a note of sanctity and good cheer. Table singing of this kind (as opposed to ribald beer hall singing and minstrelsy) is actually pretty much unique to the Jewish people. It is an important thread in the fabric of Jewish family life and a great way of engendering community identity in one's children. But if you don't particularly enjoy singing, or don't feel like it, that's also fine. Learn more about table singing here and here.
Grace after meals
See details here
Bendigamos
This can be sung before or after Birkat Hamazon, and has its own page here.
Kiddush (Morning)
Morning kiddush is usually said seated, except at a synagogue kiddush where people often stand the whole time
This is the chant used in London: ♫ Kiddush for Shabbat morning
A well known "leniency" for morning kiddush is that unlike the evening one, eating bread is not essential. Cakes, crackers or other "mezonot" are fine, and you can then have your second Shabbat meal - with bread - later, when you get home.
The third meal
It is customary to have a third meal on Shabbat afternoon, also with bread. If the day is very short, or you just don't feel like it, this can be a light "tea" with cake, quiche, biscuits or crackers, or even just fruit, instead.
About the blessings for the candles and washing for bread
Despite the Talmudic recommendation to say the blessing *before* performing a mitzvah wherever possible (כל המצות מברך עליהן עובר לעשייתן), there are at least two notable cases where this is commonly not done:
1) Netilat Yadayim, even before bread with hands that are clean,-and-2) Women lighting the Shabbat candles.
In the first case, there are those who hold that nowadays - when our hands are pretty much always clean - we should say the blessing *before* washing for bread.
In the second case, R Ovadia Yosef famously rules that the authentic Sephardi custom has always been to bless *before* lighting, because (just like men) women do not need to accept Shabbat upon themselves at that moment. (Note: This would put an end to the the "covering the face" thing - that has for many women turned into a pseudo-mystical abracadabra-like wave that defines the act.)
The original S&P custom in both these cases is unclear, so it cannot be said that either option is incorrect.
Shabbat in the synagogue
The priestly blessing
Traditionally, in all S&P diaspora communities, the priestly blessing of the congregation by the Cohanim is performed only on festivals. This is also the custom of the Ashkenazim. Among North African and Eastern Sephardim it is performed every Shabbat.
In a highly unusual move some ten or fifteen years ago, as the result of strong sentiments on the part of some newer members of the community, the entire London kahal were invited to vote on the matter, and it was democratically decided to part with the 350-year-old tradition and introduce Birkat Cohanim on Shabbat. This decision affects only London; no other S&P communities have followed suit.
The blessing is said by the Cohanim only in the Shaharit repetition. In Musaph the blessing is said by the minister, as before.
When there are two or more Cohanim the minister calls "Cohanim" and then they begin the opening blessing. If there is only one Cohen, he begins the opening blessing without being called. [1]
A feature of the S&P Birkat Cohanim is that as long as there are two or more Cohens present, they follow the opening blessing with the first word "Yebarekhekha" without waiting for the minister to say it, and the minister leads them only from the second word of the blessing. [2] If there is only one Cohen, he waits after completing the opening blessing for the minister to first say "Yebarekhekha" and then repeats it, as all subsequent words, after him.
The minister continues from the second word of the blessing (often changing the key to suit his vocal range!), and the Cohanim follow him word for word.
If the minister is a Cohen: If person leading Shaharit is himself a Cohen he does not participate in Birkat Cohanim. In such a case the words that guide the Cohanim are said by the choirmaster.
If the reader is the only Cohen present, he nonetheless does not go up to the Hechal for Birkat Cohanim, but recites the reader's version from the Tebah. [This was my custom as Visiting Rabbi of Bevis Marks.]
Top hats: If the Cohen is wearing a top hat for the service, he does not remove it for Birkat Cohanim, but carefully pulls his tallet up and over it. In the days prior to top hats, when tricorns were worn, all congregants wore their tallet over their hat throughout the service (as can be seen in the Picart illustration above, and others). In all likelihood this ceased with the switch from tricorns to toppers, as the constant friction from the tallet would wear away the silk rim of the crown.
Today the tallet is worn over the hat only on two key occasions: for Birkat Cohanim (by the Cohanim), and for the blowing of the Shofar (by the Baal Tokeah), in both of which it adds to the "gravidade" of the occasion.
Notes
[1] Shulhan Arukh
[2] This is actually the ruling in Shulhan Arukh, but observed in practice only by the S&P and some Moroccan communities.
About the use of electricity on Shabbat
Unfortunately, the S&P intellectual tradition had already mostly disappeared by the time the use of electricity became widespread. So there's no written material based on our tradition. There was much halachic debate before the position that electricity may not be used became the orthodox consensus.
It is therefore of historical interest only, that Shearith Israel in NY has buttons next to the hazan's seat on the tebah (see below, with a rather unexpected Ashkenazi spelling of the word for Shamash), that trigger lights in various parts of the sanctuary
Maida Vale Synagogue in London has a similar set of buttons.
